Page 35 of Knot a Chance in Hell

“Silas!” I shrieked his name as he opened the front door and went out, slamming it behind him. A new flood of tears poured down my face.

Kodiak picked up Silas’ mug and smashed it on the floor. I yelped and turned toward him.

“Are you really compatible with Silas too?” His question was low, nearly a growl.

I stepped toward him. He was hurting. I needed to hug him, to soothe his pain. “Kodiak,” I whispered his name and opened my arms for him.

He didn’t move. “Are you?”

My chin trembled. “Yes. But it doesn’t matter. Silas doesn’t want me. I don’t want you fighting with him over me.”

“Fuck.” Kodiak ran his hands over his face and scrubbed them through his hair. “We fought last night because he was drinking. Silas had a really bad drinking problem when Sarah screwed him over, but we helped him get better. It isn’t about you. It’s him dealing with the pain in the aftermath of a fuckedup situation. Me and Ezekiel not being there for him only added to it. That’s on us, not you.”

My arms fell and I clenched my hands in front of me. He wasn’t blaming me for anything, but guilt dug its sharp claws into my heart. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. No one told me—”

“Yeah, I know. No one wants to talk about it.” He let out a long breath that turned into a snarling roar. “Fuck! This is all a mess. I need to get out of here. I need some air.”

I followed him to the door and grabbed his hand. “Kodiak, please. Let me help you. Even if you just want to sit on the couch and not talk, let’s do that. I hate seeing you in so much pain, especially knowing that I caused—”

He was suddenly in front of me and cupping my face between his big hands. I clung to his forearms with trembling fingers. “No. I’m going to repeat it again, baby. You did nothing wrong. You aren’t responsible for our pasts or who you’re compatible with.” He leaned his head down and pressed a long kiss to my forehead. “You’re sweet and kind and beautiful, and I feel like I’ve already fallen for you.”

Despite my misery, a burst of joy erupted inside me. Kodiak had fallen for me. He could be the one. Not only a compatible mate, but real love too. Happy tears mingled with the sad ones.

“Right now, I just need some time. I need you, but Silas needs me and Ezekiel.” Kodiak sighed and brushed his lips over mine. “I’ll be back, baby.”

With that, he donned his boots and coat and disappeared out the door.

A piece of me went with him. I couldn’t deny that I’d fallen for him too. And Ezekiel, especially after last night. Which just brought me back to the sickening feeling of having made everything a mess again.

Kodiak was right in that I wasn’t responsible for what happened in their pasts or who I was compatible with, but I was responsible for how I handled the present situation. I was the Omega. It was my decision who I chose to claim me. Except I wanted them all to do it.

Shit. I included Silas. I wanted the whole pack.

This could not be happening to me. I couldn’t make the choice. Racing into the kitchen, I grabbed the whole container of yogurt and a jar of pickles before heading back to my room. On the way, I picked up Kodiak’s flannel shirt from the couch and a pullover that Silas had tossed on the floor. The scent of them was strong and soothing.

My bed already smelt very much like Ezekiel, and so when I snuggled under the blankets with my breakfast, I closed my eyes and imagined the three of them here with me. I could see us lounging around, coffee and tea steaming in mugs on the bedside table. They’d tell me some funny stories from when they were young, and we’d all laugh.

Happy together as a pack. Me and my three hunky lumberjack Alphas.

It was never going to happen.

CHAPTER NINETEEN – Kodiak

It had been three days, and Silas hadn’t returned to the house. I had no fucking clue where he went. He didn’t answer his phone or reply to texts. I even had Jacob at the Harbor watching out for Silas, but he never showed up at the bar. The bastard better not be drunk and dead in a ditch somewhere.

Nicolette’s heat ramped up. We couldn’t get out to the Tongass for two days because of the snow, and most of that time was spent with her. Morning, noon, and night, she was aching to be knotted. Even with both Ezekiel and I there, we barely got any rest.

The third morning, the weather had cleared, and the snow melted enough so we could get to our worksite. I wouldn’t have left Nicolette if it wasn’t for the fact we had a contract to cut a certain number of trees before Thanksgiving. She assured us that she was satiated for the time being and was going over to help my dad with the greenhouse.

I drove my truck down the mountain toward town trying to work out in my head how the two of us could do the work of three and get it done by the deadline. I didn’t expect Silas to show up. My warring feelings wanted to conduct a full island search for him and also just say fuck it and let him rot in whatever hole he dug for himself.

Ezekiel cleared his throat, obviously preparing to say something. I tried not to groan.

“So,” he began and drummed his fingers on his leg. “Maybe we should start thinking about the long run. Nicolette is going to stay, and she doesn’t want to choose between us. After the past few days, I’m realizing it could work. We could stay a pack—”

“What could work?” I knew what he was going to say, but I didn’t like it. The possessive beast in me hated to share.

“If we were both her mates.” Ezekiel watched me out of the corner of his eye. We hadn’t had a physical fight over our lovely Omega, but it loomed over us. “You’re like a brother to me, and so is Silas. I hate the thought of losing our pack. Nicolette doesn’t want us fighting, especially not over her. And I know it’s been hard. The instinct to claim her, to make her mine, it’s powerful. I won’t do it without her permission though, and she isn’t ready to decide yet.”

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