Page 47 of Knot My Secret Santa

“Don’t worry about the cost or the where. I’ll take care of it all.” He reached out a hand to me. “I’ll take care of you.”

“You can’t just fly us away and tell me everything will be okay.” I wanted him to. Oh how I wanted him to, but it couldn’t be that way. “I need to be home. It’s the holidays.”

“But you’re stressed. Distance helps to figure out things. With no distractions—”

“Stop it.” I winced at the harshness in my voice. “Stop trying to take me away from my family.”

“I’m not,” Nathaniel insisted, rising from the couch. “We agreed that it would be best if everyone had some time and space, so going away and putting that distance—”

“Youaretrying to take me away. It’s exactly what you’re saying. Don’t ask me to choose between you and my family, because you will not win.” It hurt to say it. My throat felt like it burned with the words. Fresh tears seared down my face.

“I want us to be together, Avery.” He stepped toward me and I moved back. “I love you.”

Everything in me cracked and crumbled.

“And I love you!” Holy hell, I said the L word. And it rang true. It exploded within me without the restraints. I loved him so much. “But it’s not enough.”

“What?” Nathaniel looked like I’d slapped him. “We love each other. We can be together.”

I wiped at my cheeks with my sleeves and hoped that what I said didn’t come out as shattered as I felt. “We can be together, but at what cost? Your position will be questioned. Your business morals, you as a person. I won’t be the cause of your ruin. And what about everyone else? We would hurt so many people, and I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”

“You don’t know what will happen,” he growled through clenched teeth.

“Therewillbe backlash!” I shouted, hiccuping with the turmoil of my emotions. I could barely breathe. My vision was all hazy. “You’re too smart to dismiss that fact. We can’t go away. We can’t…” I choked on a sob and snagged my coat. “We can’t be together.”

I ran through the open office door toward the stairs.

“Avery!” Nathaniel started after me. I could hear his footsteps pounding behind me, quickly catching up.

“No! Let me go.”

I crashed through the stairwell door and nearly toppled down the stairs. Catching myself just in time, I used the momentum to spin me around to take the next flight down.

The more distance I put between us, the more my heart screamed to go back to him. But it couldn’t be. I wouldn’t destroy anyone’s lives for my selfish desire to be with him.

Though, as I realized by saving everyone else pain, I would be breaking his heart and mine.

CHAPTER THIRTY – Nathaniel

Avery loved me. She fucking loved me! Why should anything else matter in the world than the fact that we loved one another? How could she run out on that?

My Alpha instincts snarled that she was mine. All I needed to do was march over to her house, pick her up over my shoulder, and take her away. I would take care of her every need. I would be everything to her as she was everything to me.

But what she truly needed right now was my patience. No time in my entire life had it ever been so difficult than to be patient right now. Fuck.

I waited all night, but she didn’t return. At some point, I fell asleep for a few hours and woke up furious. How dare she walk away from us? We were perfect together.

Each beat of my heart hurt. Each breath without her was torture.

I found myself driving to her house and had to wrench the car around. Avery told me to let her go. Not only did I not want to do it, I didn’t know how. She was a part of my soul, and as I thought about a life without her, I wanted to tear it apart.

No one was at the gym except for one attendant. I worked out until I couldn’t lift my arms anymore. The guy even came over at one point when I was pummeling the punching bag and asked if everything was okay. I glared at him until he backed away and left me alone.

Unable to go back to my office, I picked up some takeout and went back to my apartment. When my cell rang, my heart leapt, hoping that Avery was calling. But upon seeing the caller ID, I felt a wave of panic. Fuck, I hoped Avery was okay.

I answered with a tight “Hello.”

“Hi Nate. How’s the first day of holiday break going?”

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