Page 46 of Knot My Secret Santa

I swiftly pulled on my sweater and tried to make it look like I’d been crying. “Yeah, Mom. Just finished getting dressed. Is everyone coming to lunch?”

“Good. Yes, your brother and Tabitha just got here. So we’re going down to Snowflake Lane and grabbing something there before caroling.”

Stepping out of the bathroom, I smiled as I went to stuff my feet into my boots.

“Oh, sweetie, you look happy but tired. You might want to call it an early night tonight and not spend any more time with your friends.” Mom held up my coat for me like she did when I was a child, and I slipped in my arms into it.

I bit the side of my tongue. My family must think I’ve been partying all week with my friends, and I hadn’t said anything otherwise. I wanted to spill the whole truth to my mom. Perhaps she would know what I should do. Or maybe she would be sad and disappointed in me. I couldn’t ruin her Christmas by making her upset.

“It was a great day yesterday. The Nutcracker was phenomenal. Pure magic.” Like Nathaniel’s touch, his kisses, his smile. “I did promise to go out tonight, but I think you’re right about needing a quiet night in.”

“Come home after caroling, and we’ll all have dinner and watch a movie. We’ve missed you this past week.” Mom hugged me and I leaned against her. I’d missed them too.

“Okay. Let’s not keep everyone waiting. Lukas will have eaten all Grandma Bell’s cookies by the time we get back to the house, and I’ve been craving one all weekend.”

We laughed and walked to my parents’ house arm in arm. Being with my family was usually happy and warm. There was no Alpha and Omega drama. No worries about rules or escorts or going into heat. Family had always been my happy place, but now it felt incomplete. The Nathaniel sized hole was eating me from the inside out.

Lunch and then caroling and warming up with hot chocolate afterward. My heart wasn’t in any of it.

I claimed I needed to run a few errands and sped off to Nathaniel’s office. When I got there and didn’t see his car, I climbed into mine and cried. What was going on with me? I was falling to pieces just because he wasn’t at his office on a Sunday.

Ten minutes later, Nathaniel pulled into the lot and rushed over to my car, tugging me out and into his arms. Leading me up to Donner Designs, he held me tight as a fresh wave of tears fell and kissed them away.

Once in his office, I snuggled into him on the couch. He tenderly rubbed my back. “It was a rough afternoon being away from you, vixen. I don’t want to do it again any time soon.”

“I didn’t know it would be like this. All I want is to have you beside me all the time.” Here in his arms it felt so right. I never understood why Omegas would give up everything in their lives for their Alphas, and I almost wished that I didn’t know. I hadn’t wanted to be one of those Omegas. I wanted my life and for whoever I one day loved to fit into it, not tear it down. “What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to make it work.” The confidence in his tone made my stomach flutter. When I didn’t say anything, he tilted my chin up and looked me directly in the eyes. “We will make this work. We’ll tell everyone—”

“No!” I startled myself with my shout. We couldn’t just tell everyone. Everything we did was against the law. My family would be so disappointed in me, and it was almost Christmas. Not that it would matter if it was the holidays or not, but it was ten times worse because it was. I clutched at him and shook my head. “We can’t. My family wouldn’t understand.”

SometimesIdidn’t understand, especially with how powerful the Alpha and Omega drives were. My feelings about Nathaniel were a mess, and I didn’t think I could trust any of them. I couldn’t trust myself.

“Avery,” he whispered my name and caressed my jaw. So tender, so patient. “Your family loves you. They’ll love you no matter what, right?”

I nodded, sniffling. I never doubted my family’s love of me, but this could break their trust in me. Their good girl had been seeing her boss in secret, and she let him knot and claim her. Fuck. Santa was leaving me coal this year.

Nathaniel kissed me softly. “And I love you.”

The world spun and shook. He said he loved me. Everything in me sang the most joyous of songs. A sound escaped me like a sob, a laugh, and a delighted whoop. It make me shiver. No, he made me feel that. He’d touched my very heart and forever locked himself in it.

“I’ll love you no matter what as well.” Nathaniel pulled me onto his lap, cuddling me in my stunned silence. “We’ll tell everyone. No more hiding. Then we’ll give them the time they need to digest the information. I think you’ll find more people will understand than you believe. That will give you and I time to work out what we want to do, like where we want to live. Because, beautiful, I’m not living another day without you. I can’t.”

Would they understand though? Perhaps my family would forgive me over time. But my friends? My co-workers? Business associates? It had horrified me when Jessalyn said she was going to touch our boss to see if she was compatible with him. Her intentions weren’t about finding love either. While I hadn’t been attempting to do that, it still happened. Who would believe it was an accident? They’d think I would be doing it to further my career.

“I don’t want to be apart from you either.” That was the truth, but my chest tightened as I realized it seemed less and less likely to happen. “It’s Christmas, and… Everyone at Donner Designs. What will they think? Your clients? The professional world?”

Nathaniel stroked my arm and back. “My personal life is just that: personal. It does not reflect on how I do business. Yes, you’re an intern in my firm, but we can’t change that fact nor how we feel about one another. You will still remain an intern, and you won’t get any special treatment because you’ve been claimed by the boss.” He tapped my nose lightly and gave me a loving smile. “I won’t hold back any critique if I feel it’s warranted. You will further your career on your own great merit, and Avery, you have an incredible talent. But if you have a bad day at work and your boss is an asshole, you can come home to me and I will kiss you until you’ve forgotten everything.”

I couldn’t stop my little smile at that. “Youaremy boss.” My mouth turned down again, and I whimpered. “Everything’s still a mess.”

He smoothed back my hair and kissed the top of my head. “It’s a mess that will be sorted out. It will.” His words were firm, but the squeeze he gave me was gentle. “We tell everyone and give them the time they need. We also need to take the timeweneed to sort through it all. I want to take care of you. I’ll take you away, anywhere you want to go, and we can get through this together. You can take all the time you want to figure out what’s going on inside your heart.”

There he was again, wanting to whisk me away. I lamely tried to wiggle out of his arms. “No, we can’t.”

“We can’t what?” Nathaniel furrowed his brows. “Together we can do anything.”

I pushed at him with more force and stood up, stepping away from him. “We can’t just go away.”

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