Page 111 of I'm Watching You

‘Of course we do. But in the beginning, it was so hard to deal with the fact that our firstborn wasn’t perfect. All those dreams we’d harbored when I was expecting her vanished. It was especially hard on Robert.’ She slid her hands into the pockets of her khaki pants as if the memory made her uncomfortable. ‘She was so sick in the beginning. Not only did she have Down’s but her heart was defective. A couple of times we almost lost her. Robert and I were so tired, so scared, and we fought a lot then. We even separated for a few months, because he simply couldn’t handle the stress.’

‘From what Zack said, Robert is Eleanor’s staunchest ally. He lobbied the schools, Girl Scouts, and the local soccer teams to make sure she’d have a chance to do everything she wanted to do.’

‘Yes, he’s great. But after Ellie was born, it was just too hard for him. So he left.’ A shadow crossed her face as the memories returned, and then she caught herself. ‘He learned that living without us was unbearable. So he asked for a second chance. I wasn’t going to give it to him. I remember telling my mom we weren’t meant to be. Boy, did that ruffle Mom’s feathers. She said, “Love may happen by chance but a good marriage is just plain hard work.” I gave him – us – that second chance. And I thank God every day I did.’

Lindsay had fallen in love with Zack because he’d seemed so strong. She’d felt safe with him. And when he’d failed to measure up and showed weakness, she’d been devastated. And she’d run.

Now he wanted a second chance.

Was she ready to give him one?

Lindsay pinched a piece of crust off her sandwich. The question was too huge for her to consider right now. ‘The gardens look great.’

Audrey accepted the change in topic with grace. ‘It’s finally coming back after the hurricane last year.’

The place looked perfect. ‘You had a lot of damage?’

‘Thirty-three trees down. And we lost all the azaleas. But on the bright side, the house didn’t see any damage.’

‘That’s good.’ She shoved her hands in her pockets. ‘My mother used to take such pride in her gardens.’

‘I’ve never heard you talk about your mother.’

Lindsay set her sandwich down. ‘I guess it just hurts too much.’

Audrey folded her arms and stared at her with interest. ‘What was she like? What did she enjoy?’

The questions surprised Lindsay. No one had ever asked them before. The people had always focused on the pain and sadness. Normally, she kept her emotions bottled tight, but sometimes, they bubbled over, and now hot tears burned her eyes. She swallowed. ‘She loved her gardens. And she loved music.’

Audrey moved beside her. ‘What’s your favorite memory of her?’

Lindsay cleared her throat. ‘There are a lot. She was at every one of my swim meets cheering me on. She baked the best chocolate cakes for my birthday. And she gardened for hours. When I was ten she won a blue ribbon for her tomatoes at some fair.’

Audrey touched Lindsay’s shoulder. ‘I’m sorry you lost her. I know she’d be very proud of you.’

Stunned, Lindsay’s hands hung stiffly by her side. ‘Thanks.’

Audrey squeezed Lindsay’s arm. ‘I’d love to see a picture of her.’

‘I have a box at home.’

‘Sometime you’ll show it to me?’

‘Sure.’ It was a promise Lindsay doubted she’d ever keep.

Talking about her mother stirred a deep restlessness inside her. Work usually kept the old issue at bay, but without it she felt backed into a corner.

She needed space. She needed time alone. ‘Audrey, can I borrow your car? I’d like to go visit my mother’s grave. It’s only about five miles from here.’

Audrey planted a hand on her hip. ‘I will if you stay in Hanover and promise not to go home until Zack gives the all clear.’

The mother was as shrewd as the son. ‘Deal.’

‘Promise?’

‘I swear.’

‘All right.’

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