Page 21 of My Secret Santa Mason

I sighed, picking up a candle and setting it back down without really looking at it. “It’s Mason. I just… I don’t know what to think.”

“I was hoping Mason would be a topic!” Rae squealed. “I had a feeling you two might hit it off. He’s so quiet and broody and you’re so bright and outgoing and it’s the perfect match.”

“That doesn’t sound very perfect,” I pointed out.

“Opposites attract!” Rae cried out.

I tilted my head. “Yeah… I don’t know.” I swallowed hard and ran my fingers over the embossed letters on a holiday greeting card. “He showed up at my cottage the other night.”

Rae’s eyes widened with surprise. “Really? What happened?”

“He was a jerk,” I said. “Blaming me for something, telling me that he didn’t appreciate the changes or something… honestly, I can’t remember much of it because there was this spark and then…” I hesitated.

“And then what?”

I shook my head and my cheeks burned red.

“Did you…”

“No!” I cried out. “We didn’t. I mean, not all the way. But God, Iwantedto. And that’s not how it should be. Not with him.”

I looked at Rae, whose face was filled with childlike glee.

“Right?”

“Why not? If there’s something like that between you, even if it’s just a spark—”

“It’s more than that,” I admitted, cupping my cheeks, trying to hide my blush. “I mean, it’s not just physical. I can’t stop thinking about him, and that’s the problem. He’s all over the place. One minute he’s looking at me like I’m a villain and the next there’s this fire burning between us and I need to quench it or it will consume me.”

Rae sighed dramatically. “You’re driving me crazy with those words! You’re makingmewish more happened!”

I laughed despite myself. Rae was so much fun, breaking the tension but still someone I could be serious with.

“Mason’s a tough nut to crack, that’s for sure,” she finally said. “He’s got a whole lot of baggage.”

“Don’t we all?” I was thinking about the lucky packet of shit memories I had with me, pulling out one at random that knocked me down before I scrambled back up.

“If he’s acting weird”—Rae kept going—“it’s because he doesn’t know how to handle what he’s feeling. Or how to handle people. He’s been up there in the mountains so long, he’s not used to this.”

I sighed, leaning on the counter as we lingered by the display of holiday candles and cards. “I get that. I really do. But I’m starting to think I’m an idiot for even entertaining the idea of anything with him. I mean, I’m not here to find love, you know? And clearly he doesn’t want that either.”

Lustwas a different story.

She shot me a look. “Don’t say that. You’re not an idiot, Cami. Mason’s complicated, sure. But so are you, right? So are we all… You’ve both been through some shit, and that’s going to take time to work through. It was like that with me and Tanner, too.”

I shook my head, the memory of our almost-intimate moment replaying in my mind, making me feel hot and bothered. What would have happened if we hadn’t stopped? What if we hadn’t pulled away? My skin still tingled at the thought of his hands on me, the heat between us, and my body wanted more. I ached for him in a way I’d never ached for anyone.

“I just don’t know what he wants,” I said quietly. I didn’t know what I wanted, either. And maybe that was the part that terrified me.

We walked further through the store, Rae picking up little trinkets here and there, but I wasn’t really paying attention. Shewas right, of course. I was complicated, too. Hell, it was because of my complicated past that I’d ended up here.

My mind jumped from Mason to Denver, to a time I’d rather not think about. The holiday cheer surrounding me only made the memories sharper, more painful. Christmas had always been my favorite time of year—celebrating, giving the perfect gift, looking forward to playing happy families—until everything fell apart.

I stopped by another rack of scarves, running my fingers over the soft fabric as I tried to shake the thoughts away.

“Do you think these are better?” she asked, looking at the scarves.

“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t really think that far. I was just… thinking.” I hesitated, but something about being here, with Rae, made it easier to talk to her. And getting rid of all the baggage that haunted me some days wasn’t the worst idea.

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