Page 4 of Everything I Crave

“Hi Mom. Hi Scott.”

Scott waves in my direction and leaves quickly after, escaping before the shit storm that’s about to hit.

“Willow, where have you been? Whose clothes are you wearing? Do you have any idea -”

I cut her off. “Jesus, Mom, the sun is barely up. Can I at least get a shower in?” I shouldn’t be angry with her. She’s right. I did fuck up. Again.

I wasn’t always the fuck up. But when my father died because of me, something snapped. Mom has told me it’s not my fault, but if I didn’t insist on a graduation party he’d never have been on that highway. I left the second I could, and ran all the way to Nashville, where I continued to make bad choices until my eyes were opened a few months ago.

“No, you may not. You may sit, however, and talk to me. I’m worried about you, baby girl. What is going on? It’s time to tell me, so I can help you.” She holds out her hands on the table, palms up. She’s expecting me to sit and place my hands in hers, like I always did as a child.

“I can’t fucking do this, Mom.”

My sharp tone hurts her. I don’t miss the wince as she pulls her hands back, rejected.

I run up the stairs, the guilt licking at my heels. I go on the airline’s website and change my ticket to a few hours from now. I text my sister, hoping like hell she’ll come get me.

Me:Ade, can you come get me in 30?

Addy:Sure. Mom already texted me.

Great. Now she’s going to be on my ass too. At least she knows part of my story.

Half an hour later, I’m packed up and in my sister’s car. I watch my mom in the side mirror, her shuddering shoulders, Scott coming to comfort her as I walk away and flee to Nashville yet again.

I need to get my shit straight. No matter what Mom thinks, it actually does kill me to hurt her like this.

“Willow -”

“Ade, I’m not in the mood, please?” I beg.

“You can’t keep doing this to her, Willow. Tell her what’s going on, and stop running. Stay here, we can help you fight Jake.”

I flinch at the mention of my sleazy manager’s name. My manager who has been lying to me for years, and demanding sexual favors in order to get better paying gigs, holding me back in my music career all for his own selfish, money hungry greed.

No. I got myself into this mess and I need to get myself out. I don’t want everyone to know how badly I’ve messed up my life. Or the situation I’ve gotten myself into currently.

“You know I can’t do that.” I hang my head.

“Why not Willow? Let us help you, please?” She reaches out and holds my hand in my lap. The gesture brings tears to my eyes.

Addy pulls up to my terminal at the airport. I look up and lock eyes with her.

“Please?” she pleads one more time.

“I can’t.”

The need to run takes over. I open the door, gather my things, and run before she can even get out to hug me goodbye. If she hugs me, it might break the emotional dam I’ve built up over the last few months since I was home last.

Chapter Three

Willow

1 year later

I slam my door shut, and collapse on my childhood bed.

After my life finally imploded in Nashville, no other options were open to me except to move home to Lupine Valley, and give up my dreams.

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