Page 31 of Everything I Crave

“For starters, young lady, you can quit your job!”

“I’m sorry, you want me to quit my job? For what reason?” I sigh deeply, already annoyed with this conversation.

“That man that was fondling you last night! That is no place for you to be working.” She continues to yell about the man from last night, and I tune her out, texting Gunnar instead.

Me: What the hell did you tell the guys about last night?

Gunnar:I didn’t have a choice!

Me:Spill it, Gunnar.

Gunnar:We saw the guy at the clubhouse, he obviously had to say shit to be big man on campus and then the guys wanted to know what was wrong. I just told them that he got kicked out for groping your ass.

I rub my temples at his explanation. I know it is an innocent explanation he had to give the guys after seeing him, but now I have to deal with mymom.

“Mom, stop!” I demand. “It’s fine. A guy was drunk, and Gunnar handled it. No harm done to me, I promise, I’ve dealt with worse.”

“Willow -”

“No, Mom. I’m still not ready to talk about it. But please, stop. I am fine. The Bar is perfectly safe for me to work there. So just trust me, okay?” I sink down on the couch, abandoning any music work I was doing.

Sometimes it really sucks being the baby of the family, and coming into adulthood when my Dad died. All that pushes Mom to worry more than she needs to about me.

“Ok, Willow. But please, come home. Even if it’s just for dinner. You’re so close and still so far away from me.” Mom’s voice cracks. It kills me that I’m hurting her, but I can’t handle the hovering right now.

“Ok. How about sometime later this week?” I concede, not wanting to hurt her anymore.

We make tentative plans until I can ask Gunnar about my schedule, we haven’t set up an official schedule. We all know we work weekends but during the week if we want to come in, we do, if not we just tell Gunnar and he usually is okay with it. But I need the excuse to not give her an answer right now.

When I hang up with Mom I traipse back into my music room. I set up my phone on the tripod to record. I sit on my stool, and pull the guitar into my arms. I cradle it gently, strumming the strings with my pick, no song in mind.

I try to summon all the pain I’ve felt over the last year. Losing my entire career, all my friends, a manager who has no repercussions for his actions.

My fingers start strumming a song on their own and the words flow from me, the same emotion as before as I singDancing in the Sky. The lyrics come naturally to me, without any effort or thinking on my part. It’s one of my favorite sad songs. Mainly because it makes me think of my Dad. I sing it as if it's my way of talking to him.

Gunnar appears in the doorway while I'm singing, he must have gotten home a few minutes ago. He’s leaning on the door frame, his broad shoulders stretching his golf polo while he crosses his arms. A smile is spread across his face.

By the time I finish the last notes of the song, he is just out of the frame on my camera, but he’s gotten closer to me.

“That was beautiful. I’m glad you’re making videos again.”

“I haven’t posted them yet.” I place the guitar back and stand up, grabbing my phone and placing it on my stool after I stop the recording.

Out of nowhere, Gunnar pulls me into his arms. He pushes my wayward hair out of my face and behind my ear. “You should, it was amazing.”

“We were amazing this morning, and you know we could -” my response is cut off by his kiss.

“We could be, but we can’t,” he whispers, letting me go.

I follow him out of the room into the hallway. “Why not?”

“You know why, darling.” He rubs his hands over his face. “I want nothing more than totake you into this room and have you, but I know that won’t be enough for me.”

“I don’t know why,” I pout. “Why does it have to be just one time? And why did you kiss me if you don’t want to take it further?”

The thought of him having control of my body again has me clenching my thighs tight. I want that too.

I sidle up to his back, wrapping my arms around his front. My fingers roam under his shirt, feeling his abs ripple under my touch.

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