Page 17 of Everything I Need

“Oh, Scarlett, don’t rush him off! Preston, come on in!” She comes to door and I can see the mischief gleaming in her eyes.

“Hi, Mrs. Harper. Nice to see you, but we actually have reservations and need to get a move on.” He places an arm on the small of my back. It’s meant to be a calming gesture, but all it does is make my heart rate soar.

“Oh well, I guess I’ll let you get to it then.” She waves us off, the smug smile spreading.

“Bye, Mom. I love you.” I blow a kiss to her as I continue pushing Preston down the walkway back to his truck.

Gleeful. That would be how I feel when Preston skillfully gets me out of there without my mom meddling any further.

“Thanks for that. You know she was going to try to pry into your personal life, then mine, and then try to find a way to put them together.”

“No problem. After her appointment yesterday, I kind of got that feeling. Not that I would mind her figuring out how to get you to give me a second chance so we could put us together again.” He winks at me with a grin from ear to ear. He’s mentioned this second chance so many times. I’m starting to believe that he does really want it.

“Before we go any further, is that the ONLY reason we are going to dinner? Seriously, Preston, I’m not my mother’s charity case. If you aren’t interested in clearing the air for friendship, or working relationships, or whatever, then I can go back in. We absolutely do not have to do this.”How embarrassing.

Preston is about an inch from my face, taking my seatbelt from my hand so he could buckle me in himself. That brief moment of touch is enough to send my whole body on alert of how close his body is to mine. How good he smells. The heat is spreading down my cheeks to my chest, and now he can see the effect he has on me.

“Scarlett, I’m not only here because of your mother. Nor do I view you as a charity case. I was an ass, and for that I am very sorry. I know that I hurt you. I don’t think I’ve ever been put in my place so politely as your mother did. So here I am apologizing to the woman who I’d very much like to help me build my business and whom I’d like to kiss again, someday.” The sincerity in his gaze has me believing every word he says.

“Well, if you want to put it that way, her meddling isn’t all bad.” I say breathlessly.

He’s so close, and it’s so hard to remember what happened with him whispering in my ear. I can’t take it anymore. I run my hand up his neck and into his hair. “You can kiss me again, you know, if you want to.”

“As much as this kills me, I’m not going to kiss you in my truck, in your mother’s driveway, with her peeking through the window.” He nods toward the front window, curtains swaying slightly as if they’d just now been closed.

At that he pulls away from me. I’m nervous at how disappointed I am. I’ve never cared. Never felt like I needed a kiss so bad in my life. This is not me. This is not my life. But damn if those feelings for Preston didn’t come rushing back the moment he was close again. I don’t need relationships. No relationships, just work, right? I need to stick to that because my life is complicated enough right now as it is.

“So, you ready to go?”

I hadn’t even realized he buckled me in. When did that happen? I was in a trance while staring into his eyes.

“Yeah! Let’s go.” God, that came out so high pitched. He’s actually laughing at me. He knows exactly the effect he has on me, always has. I need to reign it in.

“Before you go overthinking all that in your head, you have the same effect on me,” he says smugly. I hate that he still seems to know exactly what I’m thinking. It makes my mind race knowing that I still affect him the same way he does me.

“Good to know. I think we should get this talk started. I’m sorry I’ve been so short to you since I got here. That, what happened years ago, just really hurt me, it wasn’t a good time in my life in general, and at that moment with my father dying, in particular. So, I was probably more emotional about overhearing you than I needed to be. Mom and Addy seem to think that I need to let it all go.” I wring my hands in my lap.

“You had every right to be. Seriously, I was a jerk. I should never have been speculating about you like that. I took my hurt of you not wanting to hear what I had to say, twisted it and believed what I was hearing. What happened with Elizabeth was a mess and a mistake, not that anything really happened. She showed up and said she had something to give me from my father. She had gone home that weekend so I believed her and let her in. The next thing I knew, as soon as she heard the knock on the door she threw herself at me. I was shocked, and then you opened the door before I could even register what was happening. I wanted to tell you what happened, but you just kept running.” His hands are white knuckled on the steering wheel, showing just how emotional this still is for him, how much the hurt and anger still affect him.

“I know why.” I looked at him, placing my hand on his leg, “She saw me walking to your apartment. She couldn’t help but say something to me about how I’m not good enough for you, and she is because she is a part of your world. So, she took her chance to make me believe it and I can’t believe I fell for it. She won.” I hang my head with regret. “I had been hearing it for so long from her and her friends that it started to wiggle its way into my head, despite your reassurance.”

“No, she didn’t win. I didn’t hold back in telling her that I would never be with her because I couldn’t stand the person she was. After that, she went to her parents, who went to my father, and they set Colton up with her. She just wanted the West name, she didn’t care how she got it at that point. The problem is she didn’t know that Colton hates the West name as much as I do. So, she manipulated him into marrying her, and maybe he saw a different side to her than we all do, but that’s all that ever happened between us. I swear. I have never, and will never be with her, or anyone like her. It’s always only been you.”

“Preston, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have run away. I should have let you explain. Then and in the hospital. I was so wrong to let this go as long as I have. I just couldn’t hear the rejection from you. I let myself believe that she was right and you’d want her. All these years I let myself imagine this future the two of you had together. I let us waste all these years apart, because it’s only ever been you for me too.” I can’t believe I’ve held this anger for so long, and it’s all my fault. I didn’t want to hear his side of the story because I let other people get in my head about our relationship, about myself, diminishing my confidence.

I look up, trying to keep the tears at bay. I’m suddenly overcome with sadness that we’ve lost so many years together all because I was too afraid of the rejection.

“No, no I should never be in a situation where I need to explain something to you. You don’t deserve that at all. I always tried to shield you from her, but I guess she found her ways. I will always do my best to make sure I’m never in a position like that again.” He assures me. He looks over and smiles a sad smile. His emotions reflect my own.

“She did find ways, and I never told you because I didn’t want you to be angry with me for making you choose between her and I. I didn’t want to be the reason there was a problem in your family.”

“I would have chosen you. You could have never caused a problem in my family, there was enough there on our own. I’m so sorry I never assured you of that. I should have told you how she is.” He apologizes more.

I turn in my seat to face him, “We have both made mistakes. So, how about a fresh start? No more hurt and anger from our past? Just being able to be friends and work together.”

He pulls my hand up to his mouth and kisses my knuckles lightly. “Sounds perfect to me. For now.”

The rest of the ride passes in business talk, some small talk getting to know each other again, and a comfortable silence. At some point, his hand ends up on my thigh, and the heat from the familiar weight of his hand makes me fidget uncontrollably. I’ve never been so aware of someone else near me, and so desperate for them to touch me.

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