Page 88 of Pansies

“It’s a gentleman’s massager.”

It was kind of weirdly classy-looking, dark blue and ergonomic, almost like it could be some kind of executive toy.

“Can you stop staring at it, please? It’s not a grenade.”

“Sorry…it’s just…”

Fen slanted him a prim sideways look. “If I’m on my own, I like the option of having something inside me.”

Alfie’s mouth fell open and his brain exploded. Fen. Withthat. Between his legs. Disappearing inside him. His other hand on his cock, all shiny with pre-come and flushed with excitement. His head thrown back, hair wild, the straining arch of his body as he fucked himself and lost himself. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

“Yes. Well.” Fen looked flustered, actually flustered. But then he recovered. “If you’re very good, I might let you watch someday.”

Holy shit. “I’m not sure I’d survive.”

Fen lifted his brows wickedly. “But wouldn’t it be a wonderful way to go? Now, get your magnificent arse back on that bed.”

He must have been getting used to having Fen looming over him, because it was a lot less loomy this time round. He didn’t even mind the businesslike brush of his fingers, checking Alfie was still slick and ready for him. Which he was pretty sure he was. There was no resistance, no anxious pull, just that achy, needy feeling.

“You know,” Fen murmured. “Next time it’s just me and my toys, this is what I’ll be thinking of.”

Alfie blinked goofily.

“You with me, giving me this, giving me you.”

Alfie’s head tipped back against the pillow, his throat bare to Fen’s kisses, and all he said was “Yes.” “Yes,” as he heard the crackle of a condom wrapper. “Yes,” as Fen covered him, and breached him, and came into him.

Stared down at him in a fierce kind of wonder.

And it felt good, it felt so good. A warm stretch, and something wordless, neither pleasure nor pain, but simply, purely joining.

“Alfie. My Alfie.”

Braced as he was, the tendons were standing out on Fen’s forearms, just like they did when Alfie held him down. Except this time he could touch them. And he did, running his palms up and down those lean, strong muscles, over the taut skin and silky curls, dizzied on the everyday miracle of a human body, two human bodies, and all the ways they could come together. The things they could make each other feel. Fen’s hips nudged forward, and the angle was suddenly right—veryright—and Alfie…sort of yelped, and jerked, and maybe had a bit of a heart attack. The nice kind. Hands and legs death-clenched around Fen.

Who grinned down at him, all bright eyes and gleaming skin,pulled back a bit, and did it again. So that Alfie just fell apart. Shattered into joy. Because he’d somehow forgotten it was amazing being touched this deeply, like there was a splinter of light inside him and Fen was making him shine. And his cock, which had sort of flagged a bit, was suddenly right back there, painfully hard and dripping onto his stomach.

“Oh God. Fuck me.” He grabbed the sleek, perfect curve of Fen’s arse, wanting more, more of everything, the sweet, smooth glide, the way their bodies met, the stretch in his thighs and ache in his hips, the sharpness of Fen’s pelvis and the hard length of his cock, the crazy electric bliss it sparked as it thrust into him. “Fuck me harder.”

Fen grinned—he was probably allowed to be a little impish—and gave Alfie exactly what he’d asked for. Reducing himself to gasps, raw moans, and sweat, straining against Alfie, fucking him as wild and rough as he needed, his whole body given over to it, to Alfie and to pleasure. Alfie couldn’t keep his eyes open, so he had to have him in pieces: the jut and roll of his shoulder blades, the thrust of his hips, the tormented crease between his brows, the way his mouth looked so helpless, so naked, occasionally forming the shape of Alfie’s name.

Fen reared back onto his knees, gleaming in the half-light, pushed Alfie’s legs even further apart, and drove in so hard and deep it made Alfie cry out, a shattered, shameless sound. And he didn’t care. Let Fen have that too. All his rapture. Another bit of sea-glass, for Fen to keep and look at sometimes.

A rough hand, tight on his cock, and a few strokes was all it took. His back arched. Hands clawed into Fen’s hips. And Alfie came all over himself.7 It seemed to last forever, tumbling him into the sort of ecstasy that felt either like drowning, or flying, or maybe both, and he was half-sobbing at the sheer, beautifulrelease of it. Some lost part of himself dragged into the light, where it neither flinched nor faded.

Fen threw back his head, his neck a glistening line of tension and anticipation, drops of sweat caught on his pale stubble. His lips curled into a snarl, and he looked gloriously fierce for a moment, a creature on the brink of bliss.

Weirdly, it filled Alfie with tenderness. “Come in me. I wanna see you.”

“Oh God…Alfie…yes…” A series of violent shudders ripped through Fen’s body. A few ragged, rocking thrusts, and he was done, shaking and babbling, and safe within the circle of Alfie’s arms. And Alfie had a moment to really hate the condom because he wanted that too, Fen’s pleasure inside him.

“Unnh,” muttered Fen, a few minutes later. He was still collapsed, draped over Alfie like seaweed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Was that… That was good for you, right?”

Now that his brain was sort of working and the happy madness of sex was fading, it took everything Alfie had not to flinch. “Yeah. It was.” He cleared his throat. “Just not all the time, maybe?”

---