Page 79 of Pansies

He beckoned. “C’mere, you.”

Fen came, still laughing, the spray shining on the edges of his hair, sleek as a selkie about to shed its man-skin and disappear into the ocean.

“I thought you said you were scared of the sea.”

“Haven’t you noticed? I’m quite interested in things that scare me a little.”

They left the rock pools and made their way back to the cliffs, where a series of dark, rough-edged openings led the way into a shallow network of caves.

“When I said I like things that scare me a little,” said Fen, as they got closer, “I didn’t realise you were going to take me into a dark cave.”

“Uhh—it’s a very nice dark cave?”

“I bet you say that to all the boys.”

They ducked beneath the archway into the first of the caves. The sea had hollowed out an intricate cavern of pillars and passageways, where the light glistened green and gold on the damp, wave-smoothed walls. The floor was small pebbles, larger chunks of limestone, and the occasional shining, saltwater pool. Spotting a flash of colour amongst the grey, Alfie stooped and picked up a piece of sea-glass, as green as Fen’s eyes. He dried it off and then winced. What was he doing? Collecting shit on the beach like a twelve-year-old.

But Fen was smiling at him. “I love sea-glass. I have jars and jars of it at my parents’ house. I keep thinking I’d like to make jewellery out of it, but that takes, you know, actual skill.”

“I bet you could learn.”

“It’s finding the time. Or, rather finding therighttime. I was always too busy before. And if I started now, it would be the beginning of the end. I’d be basket-weaving in the local community centre by Saturday.”

Alfie grinned at him. “Well, here. For your collection.” He held out the sea-glass, and Fen took it, tucking it into the pocket of his jeans. And then Alfie felt like an idiot. Because he’d just given him a bit of broken glass. As a present. “Uh…yeah…anyway, what do you think of the cave?”

“It’s a cave, Alfie.”

“Yeah, but you know about Jack the Blaster, right?”

“Some eighteenth-century weirdo who blew open the caves near the Grotto so he could live in them with his family? Yeah, I’ve heard that story.”5

“Well, this is one of his caves. Isn’t that cool?”

Fen twitched an eyebrow. “I’ll give youslightly interesting. Coolis pushing it.”

“You really don’t care?”

“About the history of a place I spent most of my life being abjectly miserable in? Not really, no.”

“Shit.” Alfie’d ruined everything already. With his stupid big mouth. And his stupid big feet, which were in his stupid big mouth. “I’m really sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

He must have looked as bad as he felt because Fen relented. “It’s fine. How do you know about this, anyway?”

“Oh, it’s my dad. He really loves this stuff. Shields pride and all that.”6 Alfie tried to ignore the scratchy, anxious, picking-at-a-scab feeling that came with remembering his father boring him with these very stories. “Just count yourself lucky I’m not trying to tell you the history of the lifeboat.”

Fen stepped past him, moving deeper into the cave, the crunch of his footsteps over the pebbles echoing around them. “I’ll let you into a secret.” He cast a look over his shoulder that made Alfie’s heart flip like a starfish. “If it was you doing the telling, I might even like the history of the lifeboat.”

“Oh yeah?”

Following him round the edge of a smooth limestone pillar, Alfie caught him by the shoulder and turned him gently into his arms.

“Yes.” Fen sounded a little breathless suddenly. “Why don’t you try it?”

Alfie pushed him back, one step, then another, until he had him trapped against the pillar. “Are you sure you’re ready? It’s actually pretty controversial, you know.”

Fen tilted his head back to meet Alfie’s gaze. The shadows swallowed the green from his eyes, leaving them dark and wide and slightly hazy. “I think I could handle it.”

“Give me your hands, then.”

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