Page 108 of Pansies

“Who said anything aboutinthe car?”

At that moment, zero-to-sixty in three point seven seconds had nothing on Alfie. Seat belt off. Door open. He just had time to blurt out “I haven’t got—” when Fen, coming the other way, at about the same speed, shoved the crisp crinkled square of a condom into his hand. Then there was nothing but the collision: bodies and tongues and Fen’s fingers clumsy at his belt. It wasn’t really a kiss. It was an act of need and violence, like he could force his heart into Fen’s mouth and make him swallow it.And Fen didn’t flinch, didn’t yield. Just came at him, ferocious, claiming him right back. Until everything was heat and pressure, and the deepest taste of Fen, and Alfie could hardly bear his own wanting.

He grabbed Fen round the waist and flung him against the still-warm bonnet of the car. Fen landed with a gasp, steadying himself with his hands for a moment, before wriggling out of his trousers. At least until they got tangled in his shoes, leaving him kicking with all the grace of a mountain goat. Alfie tried to help, except he ended up nearly dragging Fen back off the car. So the whole thing was basically carnage. But the world had spun a bit skew-whiff—or Alfie had—and it had all sort of become…part of the same thing. The messy stuff and the sexy stuff together. Like maybe he’d never seen anything quite as beautiful, or maddeningly erotic, as Fen’s bare knees flailing in the greyish moonlight.

He nearly dropped the condom twice. Then tried to put it on inside out.

“Come on come on come on.” Fen propped himself on his elbows, watching Alfie from between his splayed-open thighs. And Alfie was kind of lust-shocked with how lewd he looked like that, all exposed and shameless, his cock dripping, his balls drawn up tight, and shadows arrowing into the cleft of his arse, pulling Alfie’s gaze with them.

Finally, he was ready. He wrenched Fen’s legs even wider, dragging a rough, undeniably enthusiastic moan from him. Lined up as best he could, groping with the lube-slickened head of his cock through the soft and secret places of Fen’s body.

“I’m waiting for you, Alfie Bell.” Fen’s glasses were full of reflections—made his eyes glitter. “Fucking own me.”

Stupid worst impossible fucking time to hesitate. But…

“Own me back?” His voice sounded weird and thin just then.

Fen flung a knee over one of Alfie’s shoulders, curled a foot over his hip. “Of course I do. Now fuck me and make me feel it. Make me scream.”

Suddenly Alfie wasn’t hesitating anymore. He shoved inside in one merciless thrust, taking Fen’s body as he’d taken his mouth.

And Fen really did scream, this wild, naked sound. “Oh God yes. Like that. Just…like…that…”

Before dissolving into sharp cries and punched-out groans. The occasionally joltyyesor breathlessA-Ah-Al-fie. Since what Alfie was giving him was less a fucking than an onslaught, slamming their bodies together with a force that rocked his car. He wasn’t exactly a stranger to rough sex, but he hadn’t realised how much he’d been holding back before.

Somehow, with Fen, it felt safe not to. Like he wanted everything Alfie could give and was strong enough to take it. If Alfie was worried about anything, it was the Sagaris, but right then, clenched in the fierce heat of Fen, a few dents seemed like nothing.

Besides, he had a few dents of his own. And was figuring out how to live with them.

He mumble-growled something—didn’t even know himself what he was trying to say—and shoved Fen’s hoodie up to his armpits, exposing an arch of straining, sweat-shining skin. Hooking Fen’s knees over his elbows, he leaned over him and licked his way up Fen’s stomach like he was doing a tequila slammer. Then suckered his mouth over a nipple and pulled until Fen threw back his head and wailed with jagged ecstasy.

Alfie lifted up again. Got back to fucking. Staring down at Fen. In that strange, moon-touched light, he was a piece of silver, shaped to the curves of the Sagaris, fey and feral and lovely. Hisback was arched, his throat exposed, his hands flung haphazardly towards the windscreen…and Alfie felt happiness break inside him like tears. He came, a second or two later, in a muddled rush of urgent passion and helpless tenderness, so deep in Fen that he felt almost part of him. And, for the first time in a long time, whole.

“Oh shit.” He forced open his eyes. He was supposed to be good at this—and he’d come first, like he didn’t know how to fuck somebody. “Shit. I’m so sor—”4

“Shh. No. Don’t move.” Fen twisted on his softening cock. “Right on the edge…just…”

Alfie wrapped a hand round him.

“God yes please. Hard. Yes. Perfect yes…oh.”

A few hard pulls and a slippery finger tracing a line between his balls and his hole, where Alfie’s cock still nestled, and Fen came too. So debauched and pretty, sprawled across Alfie’s car, his glasses steamed up and his hair all over his face. His mouth stretched open in moaning, wordless bliss, and his warm semen spilling riotously over Alfie’s fingers.5

It was irresistible. Alfie brought his hand to his fingers and licked them clean. Yeah, so it wasn’t the most delicious thing in the world, but it was Fen. The taste of Fen’s pleasure.

Fen lifted a weary hand and gave him a teasing sort of thumbs-up. “A-plus gay, Alfie Bell.”

“I don’t normally.” Alfie could feel himself blushing and was glad for the darkness. “I just wanted to…cos it’s you.”

He eased out carefully and tugged off the condom. Then tied up the end, rolled the whole thing into an old tissue, and stuffed it into the pocket of his jeans.

“What on earth are you doing?”

“I don’t want tolitter.”

“Of course you don’t.” It was hard to read Fen’s expression through the shifting shadows. And when he finally spoke, it was quietly, almost like he was on the verge of laughing, but maybe not. “You know, I used to think I was so messed up for being in love with you. After everything you did to me.”

“Wait. What?”

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