Page 197 of One Big Little Secret

He strides back into the kitchenette and starts dishing out dinner, this one pot pasta concoction with meat and tons of garlic, judging by the smell.

Slowly, deliberately.

If he’s pissed, I can’t blame him. Not with how I’ve melted down.

I can see it in every line of his shoulders and the tense, careful movements—but he’s trying to keep it together. For my sake, he’s trying to be kind.

“I don’t believe it was personal,” he says. “You were just there. She’s an opportunist, using Arlo to make her escape thesame way she used fifty years of friendship with Mom to fuck us over.”

“Does that make it any better?” My mouth twists bitterly.

He looks at me slowly and nods.

“No,” he admits. “But it proves it’s not about you.”

I accept the meal he’s made for me in a bowl, grateful for the thick dusting of parmesan on top. It’s simple, just jarred sauce and a few spices, but right now I’m hungry for anything.

I still have to make myself take small bites, wishing I could digest the latest news as easily as the food.

Arlo nearly died.

If Patton’s right, Evelyn Hibbing poisoned him. Apparently for no reason besides the fact he was there and she needed a diversion.

And I was too oblivious to notice.

“Eat,” he commands, sitting on the sofa with me after he grabs his own bowl.

We eat together in my tiny apartment where Arlo should be, forcing down a meal neither of us really wants.

Once I’ve eaten it, though, I start feeling better. It’s amazing what stable blood sugar can do for your energy.

“She hasn’t called,” I say, checking my phone for the fiftieth time since we left the hospital.

“That means there’s nothing new.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I rest the cold screen against my forehead. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Patton.”

He touches my arm. Featherlight, almost like he’s afraid to commit to touching me fully, worried it’ll break me.

“You’re going to rest. Then you’re going back to that hospital to be there when Arlo wakes up. The first thing he’ll want to see is his mama.”

Tears nip my eyes.

“And you?” I let my lips part with my next breath.

“Me, I’m going to figure this shit out before it drives me crazy. Exactly what happened, blow by blow, every scrap of evidence I can get.” He folds his arms, but then he forces a smile for my benefit. “Maybe someday, we’ll laugh this off like Mom does after I nearly drowned that summer.”

I can’t do this. Mentioning his mother brings back all the memories of being in her house. Beingwelcomedinto his family like I deserve to be a part of them.

Honestly, I don’t even deserve this rock of a man sitting here who made me food, much less the people he loves.

I don’t deserve him.

All my previous resentment dissolves into a hollow ache in my chest that promises to drown me in numbness if I just push hard enough.

“I’m going to tell Arlo you’re his dad. You’ll always be in his life,” I blurt out. “Whatever happens. I wanted to tell you that earlier, before everything blew up with him getting sick.”

Patton frowns, switching his attention from his empty bowl to my face. “What do you meanwhatever happens? What’s about to happen, Salem?”

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