Page 164 of One Big Little Secret

Dimples that dip my cheeks even when I’m not smiling. They’ll sink when I get old, sucked into my skin with all the other wrinkles and lines of old age, and probably sooner than I think.

Will he still call me beautiful then if we’re together?

I brush the skin around my eyes. No deep lines there yet, except when I smile, but they’ll be coming soon enough.

Snorting, I drop my hand and reach for my makeup.

Thirty feels like it’s coming fast, but it’s not a death sentence.

If I haven’t made it yet, that’s not a crime.

I haven’t failed.

I have my crap together and I have a wonderful son.

Except, there’s still this burning need inside me formore. Patton fulfills that need beyond my wildest dreams, but I don’t just want to be a rich man’s arm candy, assuming he’s crazy enough to stick around.

At least the makeup brightens my face.

I brush my eyebrows into shape, cover the mole, then apply eyeshadow that brings out the gold in my eyes.

There.

Now I feel prettier with my flaws smoothed out. I curl my hair and leave it hanging loose over my shoulders, wishing I could leave my brain hanging too.

It’s just his family.

Just his filthy rich mother and two driven brothers who eat ambition for lunch.

But you’ve met them before.

Yes. As his employee.

Sweet Jesus, I hate my inner dialogue.

I tighten my fingers around the mascara wand as my phone buzzes on the table beside me. I wrinkle my nose.

Kayla.

Of course it’s her calling right now. Ofcourseshe’d interrupt this moment with some invented crisis or a new demand that’s all about her.

For a hot second, I consider declining the call.

She’d message later, though, furious to know what I’m doing that makes me too busy to talk to her. My best friend. Myonlyfriend.

She has a real knack for rubbing salt in the wounds and making it feel like a kindness.

It’s also not worth the hassle, so I grab the phone and answer, hoping to keep this brief.

“Hey, Kayla. What’s up?”

“You don’t sound excited to hear from me, Lemmy.” I can almost hear her pouting. “If you didn’t want to take the call, you didn’thaveto.”

“Sorry, Kay. I’m just doing my makeup. You know how it is.”

“Oh? You’re wearingmakeup?” Her tone changes like she can smell a juicy secret.

“It happens every once in a while.”

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