Page 176 of One Big Little Secret

Salem slides an arm around my neck and presses her body against mine.

Usually, that’s enough to soften me up—or harden me, if I’m being honest—but now I’m not in the mood, even with her in that airy dress.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to disappoint you,” she murmurs, kissing my cheek. “I know you want him to know, and he will. He’s just at an age where we have to be careful.”

“He’s brighter than you think,” I snap. My shoulders slump a second later. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be harsh. I just hate the years I’ve wasted without my son, and we need to make up for lost time.”

“We will.” She kisses me again. At least her lips are getting warmer now. “I’m the problem, Patton. I admit it. It’s not just his reaction I’m worried about. It’s losing this—losing you—when it’s all so new. Can we please just have a little time? Just so I can be sure.”

With a hand on her waist, I ease her back.

“I understand. This shit will shake up our lives permanently, no question. But I love the little man. And I want him to have a family. A real proper family beyond his mother, Salem, with everybody in this house knowing there’s a new little Rory to spoil.”

Her eyes twinkle as she pulls away.

“You love Arlo, huh?”

I blink at her.

“He’s myson, Salem. Of course I do.” The other words—the same ones for her—stop dead on my tongue.

Shit, maybe it really is too soon.

Now isn’t the moment. I can feel it in my skin.

And maybe I’m more like her than I think, holding back for the perfect opportunity, even if it’s hard to imagine.

Regardless, that perfect moment, that massive declaration, it isn’t happening tonight. That doesn’t make us bad people. It just makes me conflicted.

“I’m going back inside to talk to Mom,” I say. “Stay out here as long as you like. Keep the jacket.”

“Patton—”

“Think about what you want,” I tell her. “Because I already know.”

When I reach the door, I look back to see her huddled into my coat, too large over her slim shoulders.

She’s staring at the sky again with a look that’s way too much like I remember my old man wearing as the clouds move in, covering the tinsel stars.

Yeah, it’s hardly just Salem being ridiculous tonight.

I snort at my own stupidity and close the door.

21

DOWN AND OUT (SALEM)

It feels strange waking up in my own bed alone again.

My place has never felt smaller and it’s always been mouse worthy.

I take a minute to stretch, my fingers brushing the wall and my toes scraping the end of the bed. There are a few shirts strung up by the heater to air dry and a suitcase on the floor I haven’t put away yet.

Arlo isn’t awake yet, and it’s quiet as a tomb without Patton around.

Of course, he’s never stayed over here.

My choice, mostly—I didn’t want him hanging out in my crappy apartment when we could slum it in his mansion in style. But I also wanted a safe environment for Arlo, just in case things go sideways.

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