Page 47 of Broken Hearts

The feeling of his breath dances through my hair as he whispers, “Let it go, Sage.” He presses a soft kiss where his words linger, and it eases the pain I feel at Matt’s words. I hate the guilt that eats at me, and I have no idea if I’ll be able to move past it, struggling with it all.

On an exhale that’s meant to calm me, I reply, “Thank you. He was a great dad.” It’s not so much a lie. He was when I let him be, and this guy doesn’t need to know all the fine details of our relationship.

“So what will it be?” Matt says, directing his question at Nate and me, looking between both of us. “Your dad only ordered the garlic shrimp. Could never get him to try anything else.”

“I’ll have the same then.”

Nate and I take our food over to a well-worn picnic table, and he sits down across from me as we open the containers to reveal some delicious-looking food. Don’t get me wrong, the chicken long rice Alana made the other night was great, but this is on a whole other level.

“This is what you should be trying as a tourist,” Nate says, smirking at me. “Stay away from those Mai Tais. They’ll get you every time.”

“Lesson learned,” I groan, shaking my head. “That was not my finest hour.”

“Not mine either,” Nate murmurs, and his throat bobs as he swallows hard. “I know you’re stepping out of your comfort zone coming surfing with me, and really just being here, so…” He trails off, taking in a hard breath.

“It’s okay, Nate. I shouldn’t have—” He cuts me off, his words harsh, but they hold so much meaning.

“I’m sorry I said that you lost—” Nate starts, but he abruptly stops when I slide my hand across the table, taking his in mine.

“You don’t have to apologize. We’re both navigating something new. I’m sorry that my dad never told you about me. I know that hurts and feels like he kept it from you on purpose, but I don’t think that was the case.”

Again, Nate swallows hard, nodding in response, and a silence falls over us. I plunge my fork into the ball of rice, and as soon as it touches my tongue, the silence is broken.

“Oh my god, this is amazing and it’s just rice,” I say, looking over my shoulder at the truck behind us, wondering if Matt just heard me basically moan like a porn star.

“Try the shrimp.”

We eat together, not really touching on all the shit we really need to talk about, but it’s fun and it helps us forget the shit we’re dealing with. The memorial service is coming up, and it’s going to be hard for us, for Nate because of his connection with my father and for me because of my lack of connection.

“You ready?” Nate asks me, a genuine smile on his face. He really wants to teach me to surf, building that connection to my father and to something Nate truly loves. “Let’s get your cute ass on a board.”

We drop our containers in the trash, and calling a goodbye to Matt, we make our way across the street, Nate pulling the surfboards from the back of the truck.

He hands me one, and it’s smaller than the one he’s carrying. Tucking it under my arm, I follow him. Trying to look like I know what I’m doing when he hits the sand, I kick off my flip flops, the warmth and softness of the sand covers my feet.

I have no idea what I’m doing, copying everything Nate’s doing, the board under my arm, my flip flops in my hands, looking out at the water.

I have no idea what I’m looking for.

Sharks?

Waves?

Boats?

My sanity?

Nate sets his board down, and I’m about to do the same, but he comes over, placing a hand over mine, he directs me to turn the board over.

“Always place it fin-side up,” he says, his words firm and instructional, but then he smiles at me. Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, he watches me, and I nearly forget why we’re here.

He reaches behind him, his hand at the nape of his neck, he grabs for his shirt, pulling it over his head, and tossing it off to the side.

And now I literally forget why we’re here.

Holy shit.

How in the hell does he look like this with his shirt off and manage to remain single? These Hawaiian girls are missing out or maybe all the guys on the island look like this, like an Adonis with a tan.

---