Page 82 of Broken Hearts

“You’re just making this harder!” Nate yells, his eyes welling with tears, and I swallow hard, taking in all his pain. “Just go.”

This time his words come out quiet and strangled, and I step closer to him, wanting to take him in my arms, to hold him until he realizes I’m not going anywhere.

I say it again, my words firm, but I need to say more. He needs to know that I will never break his heart the way everyone else in his life has. “I’m not leaving you, Nate. I know you’re scared and angry, and rightfully so, but I will never leave you. Not now, not ever. Do you hear me?”

The last part comes out as a demand, and I walk so I’m now standing in front of him. Lifting my hand, I rest it against his cheek.

His eyes are bloodshot and brimming with tears. And I hate everything that has happened to him to make him feel this way.

“Do you understand, Nate? I’m not leaving. This is what happens when you love someone. You stay. I will be here when you’re angry and when you’re sad, when you’re happy and when you come home from surfing and want to tell me about every little detail. I want to take care of you and wake up next to you and make you breakfast and hold your hand and experience every second of life with you.”

I stop, waiting for it all to sink in, for him to realize that what we have is intense and perfect and something I can never walk away from.

“You’ll never be alone again. I will be here,” I whisper, leaning in to kiss the tears that spill down his cheeks. My hand rests over his heart, feeling it hammer beneath my touch. “It’s okay to be afraid. I’m terrified, but I can’t imagine my life without you now. I’d rather live my life arguing with you than not.”

I swipe away a stray tear from his face, pressing my lips to his, and it’s like the weight of the world leaves his body and his arms wrap around me. I hold him close, pulling him to me, letting my body comfort his.

He needs it.

He needs me.

We’re messy, and this probably won’t be the last time something like this happens, but he won’t push me away. He’s buried too deep in my heart, like a thorny vine, wrapped tightly around me, never letting go.

“And you don’t get to tell me you love me and then run away.” I pull back, holding his face in my hands, letting my forehead rest against his. I close my eyes, exhaling hard.

“You deserve better, Sage,” he whispers, swallowing hard, and I shake my head vehemently.

“No,youdeserve better. You deserve to have people stay and love you. You were just a kid, and your heart was broken. I will spend the rest of my life fixing all the broken pieces.”

I rest my head against his chest, my arms closing around him, holding him so he knows I mean it, that I will be here no matter what.

“I love you,” I say, the steady beat of his heart thrums under my ear, listening to it kick up a few notches at my words, and I smile.

Closing my eyes again, Nate’s chin resting on my head, we stay like this for what feels like forever. Holding each other, our bodies seeking the comfort we need.

“I want to give you the world, Sage,” Nate murmurs, his lips gliding over my hair, the hard exhale of his breath feathers against my skin.

“I don’t need the world. I just need you. This is all I need,” I whisper.

“I love you.”

Hearing him say it this time feels like the first time, making that admission during his rage disappear, replacing it with this perfect moment.

And again, we just hold each other.

When we finally separate, Nate looks exhausted, and I imagine this has taken a toll on him. He isn’t the kind of guy who shares his emotions, and we will struggle with this for a while. He has someone else to worry about now. He can’t just disappear when he gets pissed off or hurt.

But we’ll work through that.

“Can I tell you about the rest of my day?” I now say, taking his hand in mine. I guide him over to the couch.

“I’m sorry I lost it on you,” he says, sitting down, taking me with him so I’m now sitting on his lap. “It’s really fucking hard for me.”

“I know it is, and I told you before, I’m not giving up. You can’t push me away. I’m like concrete. You’re stuck with me now.”

Nate lets out a chuckle, his hand sliding around to the back of my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. “I love you, and I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

“You don’t have to. I know what I’m getting myself into, you grumpy pain in the ass,” I tease, and he laughs a little harder now.

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