Page 88 of Talk About… Rivalry

I was still too numb to argue, trying to process the fact that my dad had cared about me all along.

He just didn’t know how to show it.

That didn’t excuse the years he made me feel so alone and unwanted, but I didn’t want to hold on to that resentment.

Finding my pack and finding myself was far too important and I owed it to myself to try and move on.

When Maverick pulled onto the main road, I’d already forgiven my father.

I just hoped one day he learned to find his own happiness. He needed to learn to tell people he cared before he ended up alone forever.

I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, especially after years of condemning myself to that fate.

Sidney

While I was with Maverick packing up my things, Nash and Cameron had dropped off Maverick’s things. Leo had been busy bringing in the furniture the guys bought on rush order from a few local shops and setting up our home. Bennett had checked out of the inn and brought his own as well, which meant we were all here now.

It was starting to look like an actual pack house but it certainly didn’tfeellike home.

Maybe it was because of the stress looming over us, my nesting instincts threatening to kick in, that had me on edge. Though, I didn’t feel any different yet.

Just unsettled.

Usually, when my heat was going to hit, I would get hot flashes and be extra hungry or irritable.

Lately, all I’ve been feeling was an emotional rollercoaster that was partially due to stress.

Maverick took my things upstairs and now I was standing in the master bedroom, looking at my sad collection of boxes and trying to force myself to put them away.

The door of the nest was closed and I hadn’t been brave enough to open it yet.

The truth was I’d never had one of those. The cottage wasn’t big enough, so I just had my bed. Not to mention my heats were never noteworthy.

I was starting to get excited about this one being different, but trying not to get my hopes up.

My focus shifted to the bed. Leo had found some bedding for the huge double king bed, so thankfully, I didn’t have to do that. I threw an old stuffed frog that Avery had gotten me on the bed before unloading my small collection of clothes into the closet.

Seeing all this space and how little I owned did nothing to settle me.

The question was, when would this feel like home?

More and more since I found my pack, I was starting to realize that I barely knew myself. Most of my life I’d been hellbent on trying to be the best version of a daughter for my dad, or a friend for Avery, or finding a hobby that would stick.

But it was always a show, a way of putting on an armor that would keep me relevant to the people around me.

I lost myself somewhere along the way and I didn’t know how to find that girl again.

If I ever had her in the first place.

A soft knock on my door had me turning to see Taylor walking in, his usual bright smile was in place but it faltered at the sight of my frown.

When were they going to tire of my moods?

“What’s going on, sunshine?”

The fact that this pack had to keep asking me what was wrong was driving me crazy. I’d never felt so much like a mess in my life.

“Nothing, I promise,” I tried as I put on a smile. “It was just strange putting all this stuff away. I’ve been at my cottage on the ranch for so long.”

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