Page 68 of Why Not Now?

I explain how the only reason he’d left was because I’d told him to.

“Why did you tell him to leave?” Bethany asks.

“Because I thought he was going to, anyway. I guess I just didn’t think he’d want to stick around and help me raise Lacey. She’s my responsibility, not his.”

“That’s stupid.”

I scowl, then sigh. “I was nineteen. I honestly don’t remember a lot of what happened during that time in my life. My parents had died. I was struggling to understand all my new responsibilities. Everything was a mess. Now, he wants to try again.”

“Is that what you want?”

Is it? I think of the way he’s helped me these last few weeks, how he’s made me smile and feel like the most precious thing in his life.

“Yes.”

“What’s the problem then?” Bethany asks slowly.

“What if it doesn’t work out? What if he leaves? I’ll be crushed.”

Bethany drops her hands to the table with a thwack. “What if itdoeswork out? It sounds like he only left because you told him to. Stands to reason, if he’s loved you all this time and you don’t tell him to leave, he’ll stick around.”

“I didn’t say he loved me the whole time.”

She rolls her eyes. “How many times did you see him before you started sleeping with him again?”

“I don’t know. There was the first wedding. Then the second. Christmas pictures at Blue Vista and the game night.” I stop counting. “If you include those last ones as two separate times, four. But they happened on the same day.”

She spreads her hands as though to say,you see?“You fell into bed with him almost immediately after running into him.”

“That’s me, though. I never really got over him.”

“Ava. He also fell into bed with you. And he started this wholegetting you to love Christmasthing. He shovelled your fucking driveway. Are these the actions of a man whoisn’tin love?”

Before I can respond, my phone rings. “Hello?” I answer.

“Ava. This is Carter. I found you a car. It’s a Honda Civic, good little vehicle. Low mileage for the price, no accidents. Do you want to test drive it before you make a final decision?”

My eyes shoot to Bethany.

“It’s reliable? And it’s in my budget?”

“Yes. The car is in your budget,” he says. “Though it’s right at the top.”

“That’s okay. It’ll be tight, but I can manage it. If you’re sure about it, I don’t really need a test drive. When can I pick it up?”

“Tomorrow, if that’s all right.”

“Tomorrow is fine. I’ll see you then.” I hang up and sigh, rubbing my forehead. “Finally, something breaking my way. I can’t believe how quickly he found a car. With my budget what it was, I didn’t think he’d be able to find anything.”

Bethany takes a drink.

“What?” I ask.

“I could hear him,” she says. “Something about the way he saidthe caris in your budget. Like there was something about it that wasn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

She waves her hand. “It’s probably nothing. Why did you want to meet at this particular Starbucks, anyway? Was there a condo around here you were cleaning today?”

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