Page 61 of Why Not Now?

I laugh and switch it to a Taylor Swift song instead.

“You’re horrible, you know,” he says as he pulls into traffic.

“Yes. I need to stop at home to get changed before we go anywhere.”

I scroll through the playlists he’s created, pausing again on the one called Cool Down. There’s something about it that keeps drawing my attention. Then I realize it’s because he has a Taylor Swift song on it, the album cover part of the icon for the list, indicating it was one of the first songs added. It’s not something I expect him to listen to if I’m not around. I click on the list as he pulls to a stop in my back driveway.

“I should have shovelled your sidewalk as well,” he says. “Do you have a snow shovel?”

“Derek, why is our song on your Cool Down playlist?”

He winces, then turns to me with a pained expression.

“Do you still listen to it?” I ask.

He hesitates, but nods. “Sometimes.”

“You said you listen to this when you’re cooling down after a workout.”

He tilts his head to the side. “I said I listen to it to cool down. You assumed I meant after a workout.”

I set the phone down and twist my hands together. “Why do you have a list called Cool Down with our song on it?”

He touches the bridge of his nose, like he’s pushing his glasses up, but he’s not wearing them. “Fuck.” He sighs and removes his cap to shove his hands through his hair. “I couldn’t exactly call it Ava, could I?”

“What do you mean?”

He holds out his hand and I give him his phone back. He shows it to me, scrolling through the list. “It’s a bunch of songs that remind me of you. There’s that one, the first song we danced to at prom, the song that came on when we were making out on our first date, a few we always put on when we were driving around, shit like that.”

As he explains, he points to each one he means.

“Why do you call it Cool Down?”

His eyes leave mine, looking at anything else. “Your initials are AC. And I tend to listen to that playlist when I need to… cool down. When I’ve been thinking and wondering what you’re doing.”

“How long ago did you make this?”

He still refuses to look at me. “Originally, I made it when we were together. Then when I got that app, I remade it.”

“Why?”

Finally, he looks back at me. “Because I think about you, Ava. All the time. I’ve never stopped thinking about you. Now. Where’s your snow shovel? I’m going to clear your sidewalk.”

He gets out of the car before I can say anything else, settling his cap back on. I watch as he goes to the shed, but he can’t open it because it’s locked.

I stare at him. He’s never stopped thinking about me. I get out of the car and go to him, my eyes trained on his. When I get to him, I place my hands on the sides of his face, pulling his head down so I can kiss him. He lets out a breath and wraps me in his arms. The kiss is so sweet that tears prick my eyes.

“I’ll get changed,” I say. “You don’t have to shovel any snow. I can do it later.”

“Give me the key to the shed, Ava,” he says.

I unlock it and find the snow shovel inside. “I’ll be quick.”

“We have plenty of time. If you want to shower or whatever. There’s no rush. Also, Lacey isn’t here. She’s going to be with us tonight.”

“But she—”

“Has already done her homework.”

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