Page 50 of Why Not Now?

“Theresa,” he says. “How have you been?”

“Oh, you know. Keeping busy. You?”

He smiles. “Same.”

They’ve never really liked each other. Derek always thought she was judgmental, though he never suggested I stop talking to her.

Adalie changes the subject, cutting through the awkwardness, when she asks Derek if he managed to wrangle the chocolate vendor.

They chat about that while Theresa leans close to me.

“So, Derek is back?” she asks.

I shrug. “Yes.” Why am I so wary of what she’s going to say?

“Just be careful. I remember how hurt you were last time. Taking up with him again could be dangerous.”

She’s right, of course. This could go horribly wrong. But as I turn toward him, listening as he laughs at something Adalie has said, his arm still wrapped around me like he can’t quite bring himself to let go, I don’t feel worried at all. I just feel safe.

Chapter 16

Derek

I’vebeenavoidingmyphone as much as possible lately—partly to ignore the calls from my father, coming every couple of days now, and partly to resist the urge to call Ava. We’ve been adhering to the friends-with-benefits arrangement and I’ve decided I hate it.

When I wake this morning, five days since I last saw Ava, the desire to see her is so strong, I know I have to do something different. I don’t want just sex from her. I don’t want to only be friends. I want more. I want it all. Everything I thought I’d lost for good when she’d told me to leave.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot since Monday, how she’d known when I was upset and hadn’t pushed for information, simply offered comfort. She’d always been like that—it was one reason I’d fallen in love with her originally, the way she’d be there for you when you need her.

That hasn’t changed in the last few years. She still puts other people ahead of herself. She still sticks around when things are difficult. She still has that same drive that always impressed me.

And, as I suspected would happen, I am completely, utterly in love with her.

Not that I intend to tell her. We’ve just started things back up. I need to give it time. I need to givehertime. I’ve always loved how independent she is, but it’s become like an armour and I’m afraid if I try to get past it, she’ll tell me to leave again.

I can’t spend another week like this last one though, not seeing or speaking to her. As of today, I’m starting Operation: Win Ava Back. But I have to move slow.

She’s coming over to my house to watch Christmas movies and decorate. And while we still have the Make-Ava-Love-Christmas events scheduled, I’m planning a few more things now, as well. Including no more radio silence between outings, and, with Lacey’s help, decorating her house in a couple days. I’m going to remind her I’m here for her, whatever she needs.

I get things ready for today. Between the calls from my father and the lack of calls with Ava, I elect to wear my glasses instead of my contacts, a decision that’s reinforced every time I rub the grittiness from my eyes. I have the boxes of decorations set out and I’m sorting through them when there’s a knock on my door. I answer it to find Ava in a pretty green sweater with white at the hem and collar. She smiles when she sees me and I take her hand, simply to touch her again after five days without her.

“You’re early,” I say as she comes in.

“Is that a problem?”

“Of course not. I just didn’t expect you for another couple hours.”

She leans toward me, pressing her body against mine. “I got home from work and Lacey had already gone to her friend’s house. She’s staying the night. I couldn’t come up with a reason to stay home and figured we could make use of the extra hours.”

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her deeply. She arches into me, making me forget everything I’d planned for the evening. After a minute where my brain has completely disconnected and my cock has taken over, I remember something.

“Wait,” I say, breathless.

“What’s wrong?”

“We can’t. I’m expecting someone else.”

I don’t miss the way her face pales and I realize what I’ve said. “Shit, Ava. That’s not what I mean.”

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