Page 86 of Why Not Now?

I sit down on a stool at the peninsula and watch as she gets things organized. Her movements remind me of something, but it takes me a second to realize I’m watching her move with the same nervous energy that Ava has when something is stressing her out.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Lacey,” I say gently.

She hesitates in her act of pouring coffee. When she finishes, she hands me the cup and goes to her bedroom, bringing back a brown envelope and giving it to me. As I open it, she pours herself a cup and doctors it while I read.

“You’re failing math?”

She nods.

“But you got 98% on that last test.”

“It wasn’t enough to bring my grade up. Mr. Henley said I could get it back up over the next part of the year, but only if I focus.”

“What’s keeping you from focusing now?”

She swallows hard and tears come to her eyes. “A few things,” she says, her voice cracking.

I tip my head to the couches in the living room and we move there. She sets her coffee down on the table, untouched, and draws her knees to her chest, huddled in one corner. I take the other corner and also set my coffee aside.

“I mentioned I’m not sure I want to keep going with gymnastics. The competition is horrible and I’ve been under so much pressure to practice. I’ll never be good enough for the big events, and that’s fine. I only ever did it because it was fun. It hasn’t been fun for a while.”

“Have you talked to Ava about this?” I ask.

“I can’t. She’s been working so hard to pay for it, I feel like I’m letting her down.” She sighs. “But that’s not all.” She sounds so miserable I wish I could give her a hug. “There’s this boy at school.”

I still, remembering the conversation we had before my birthday party. I don’t want to say anything that might make her stop talking, so I keep my mouth shut and let her continue.

“He asked me out a couple months ago and I’ve gone out with him a few times. I really like him, but I’m not sure I should keep seeing him.”

“Why not?”

She bites her lip, looking away from me. “He wants me to do stuff I’m not ready for.”

The rage that flashes through me is unsettling, but I hold on to it.

“Lacey, I want you to listen to me very carefully.”

She turns back to me, meeting my eyes.

“If this… boy… is putting conditions on your relationship, it’s not a relationship. And I mean any conditions, not just sexual.”

“But I really like him.”

“It might hurt to end it. A lot. But you’re better off in the long run. My dad had conditions on his relationship with my mom, and she stayed with him long enough to have three children before she stopped meeting those conditions. She was so much happier when he was gone for good. She thought she loved him, but it wasn’t healthy.”

She nods. “I can see that. I see how you are with Ava and… I keep comparing it to how Todd treats me and I’m like, why can’t he be more like you?”

I laugh. “Don’t go putting me on some pedestal, Ace. I make mistakes, just like everyone else.”

“But you open the car door for Ava and me. And you’re there to help her whenever she needs it. You treat her like she’s important.”

“You’re answering your own question, Ace. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.” I hesitate, already knowing the answer to my next question. “Have you talked to Ava about what we talked about the other day?”

She doesn’t look at me as she shakes her head.

“Lacey,” I say, disappointment in my tone.

“I tried!” she says, swinging back to me. “She’s always doing things. She’s here for a few hours, then she’s gone or it’s time to go to bed.”

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