Page 79 of Why Not Now?

Apparently, that’s a huge deal and while we look at dresses for another thirty minutes, no other compares to this one, so it’s the one I buy.

“What about something to stay warm?” Lis asks as we leave the store. As a woman who is perpetually cold, I’m not surprised by this question.

“She has this sparkly green shawl she likes,” I say. “Her grandmother gave it to her. Even if I bought something new, she’d want to wear that.”

I notice I’m alone after a couple of steps and turn to face my friends who stopped in the middle of the mall.

“What?” I ask.

They look at each other, then back at me, stupid smiles on their faces. Adalie has a hand over her heart.

“You just know her so well,” she says.

I roll my eyes. “We’ve known each other for a long time.”

They catch up and we continue walking. Lis links her arm with mine again. “That’s true, but you haven’t actually been around her in over eight years. It’s sweet you still know her so well after all that time apart.”

We walk through the mall, overly crowded with Christmas shoppers, stopping to watch as a little girl bounces up to sit on Santa’s knee before we continue on. Lis has a look in her eye as we watch the little girl and I think to myself, it won’t be long until we need a new chef for a while when she takes some maternity leave.

We go to three shoe stores before we agree on a pair of low heels that match the dress, and Lis and Adalie tell me will be comfortable. Ava doesn’t wear heels often, so I want to be sure she’ll like these.

“So that’s it?” Lis asks. “You got what you need?”

We’ve walked around the mall a bunch today, and a few stores caught my eye each time I passed them, especially because of something Lis said when we picked the dress. I point to one of these now. “I want to go there next.”

The two women exchange a glance before turning back to me.

“Derek,” Adalie says. “How much are you planning to spend? That dress and those shoes weren’t exactly cheap.”

I don’t take my eyes off the sparkling store, the glitter not just from the decorations lining the display cases, though I don’t move toward it yet.

“We should never have broken up,” I say. “We should have been together for the last eight Christmases. During that time, she may have gotten a few presents from Lacey, but that’s it. For eight Christmases, she’s had to make the best holiday possible for her sister, but no one has tried to make it good for her.” I think again of the little black box I’ve kept in my dresser drawer for so long. I nod to myself, as though my words have convinced me. “I have a lot of time to make up for.”

I start toward the store.

“Are you sure about this?” Lis asks.

“What are you asking? About the relationship? Mostly. About the gifts? Probably. About what I feel for her? Absolutely.”

“Have you fallen in love with her again?” Adalie asks, standing next to me at the glass counter.

I shake my head. “Again implies I fell out of love with her at some point.” I look at my friends. “I’m not sure I ever did.”

Chapter 25

Ava

Aftertwonightsofnot seeing Derek, I know when I rush home after work, it’s because I’m excited to see him again. We’ve talked or texted every day, but he hadn’t come over, saying he didn’t want to distract me from getting enough rest. We’ve had phone sex, but it isn’t the same as having his hands and mouth on me.

Like all the other times he’s taken me out, he hasn’t told me where we’re going tonight, only that it’s a fancy place. I remember he’d told me about getting complimentary tickets to something, and since we haven’t done anything that needs those and this is our last scheduled outing, I’m certain tonight is the night. I’m so curious about where he’s taking me, but any time I’ve asked him over the past few days, he refuses to answer.

I quickly say hello to Lacey, who is officially on winter break from school, then get into a shower, shaving and scrubbing until I’m pink. When I emerge, I hear a knock on the front door, but it’s too early for Derek to be here.

As I’m scanning the items in my closet, feeling a little frustrated that I really have nothing fancy to wear, someone knocks on my bedroom door.

“Ava?” Lacey calls. “There’s someone here to see you.”

“Tell him I’m not dressed yet, and he’s early.”

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