Page 29 of Why Not Now?

“You want to call in the gang? Let them know what’s going on?”

“Not yet.” I turn back to him with a laugh, taking my seat. “I don’t even know what the fuckisgoing on. I’d like to say it’ll never happen again. I got her out of my system and now we can move on. But the truth is,” I shake my head, meeting his eyes, “she’s the only woman I’ve ever loved. How do I say no?” I shove my fingers into my hair, dropping my head into my hands, elbows propped on the table. “I’ve tried to get over her. I’m just really bad at it.”

We’re silent for a long minute, before Spencer asks, “You want to make a list? Fifteen reasons not to sleep with Ava again?”

It’s something we’d done for Vic when she kept going back to her ex-girlfriend, Emily. It hadn’t really worked for her. Though lately, we’d all noticed Emily hasn’t been around. No one has said anything, and Vic hasn’t brought it up. We’re all pretty nosy with each other, but we also wait until the person is ready to talk.

I snort and shake my head. “It won’t work. She’s always had me wrapped around her little finger. I’ll do anything she asks.”

Spencer regards me and I wonder what he’s thinking. It’s stupid, but it’s the truth. My kink has always been to have her beg for me so it can feel for just a moment like she needs me as much as I need her.

“You want to get drunk?” Spencer asks.

I laugh. “It’s nine in the fucking morning.”

He shrugs. “It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

I shake my head. “We’ve got shit to do today.” I take a drink of my coffee and stand.

“Are you still taking her out tonight?”

The question makes me pause. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you don’t want to make it more complicated than it already is? We could go out, get you wasted. If you want a wingman, I’m there for that, too. Weren’t you the one who said the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else?”

I suppress a shudder at the idea of sleeping with another woman so soon after sleeping with Ava. The shower had washed her smell off me, but it can’t erase the memory of her under me, the sound echoing in my head of her begging me to take her.

“I did say that. You should know, I lied. Unfortunately, I’m an idiot.”

“Well, yeah. I could have told you that.” He gets up and follows me out of the lounge, with his coffee and the one for Lis. “You’re going to be okay?”

“Sure. Yeah. Everything is fine.”

Spencer gives me a look that tells me he knows I’m lying. He doesn’t call me on it though and we separate to do our jobs. I get all my stuff done early since I’d planned it that way and am about to leave when Spencer catches me by the front door.

“Seriously. You should let Vic and Adalie know what’s going on.”

“Lis, too. It’s not a business thing,” I say, shoving my hands in my pockets. “It’s a friend thing. Let’s get through the wedding tomorrow. Your place, Sunday night.”

“You mean so Lis can cook?”

I grin. “Obviously.”

He nods because we both know she’d insist, regardless of whose house we’re at. “Sunday night.”

I head home to get ready, exchanging my hoodie for a black waterproof jacket and grabbing my favourite ball cap, sporting the Vancouver Stealth logo, the local lacrosse team. I wear it backward, then feed Abyss and go to pick up Ava. I park in front of her house and climb the steps to her door, knocking and leaning back against the railing, looking over the yard while I wait for her to answer.

When the door opens, it’s not Ava on the other side, though the girl looks like her. They have the same wavy brown hair and are the same build. The shape of their nose is identical. However, this girl has blue eyes instead of hazel.

“Lacey,” I say. “Jesus. You’re all grown up. What are you, sixteen now? Do you remember me?”

Her eyes widen slightly as she holds the door open. “Derek.” Her voice is small. I’m surprised to see her eyes glisten, as though filling with tears. Then she sniffles, blinks, and smiles. “Of course I remember. What are you doing here?”

“Ava and I ran into each other a few weeks back. I was going to take her out tonight.”

“Youareher date.”

Oof. Date. Yeah, I guess that’s what it looks like. I stuff my hands into my pockets. “Uh. No. Not exactly. We’re just friends, Ace.”

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