Page 101 of Why Not Now?

Since they arrived, my friends have pointed out my jumping legs and fidgeting. Everyone remarked on the fact that I’m wearing my glasses instead of my contacts, but I couldn’t be bothered to put them in this morning. I’d lain awake all night thinking of Ava and Lacey, hoping they work out their relationship, wishing I could do something about it. Hoping they finally talk. It’s Christmas. They shouldn’t be fighting.

Only three more days, I remind myself, stilling my agitated movements. I’m glad I hadn’t intended to give her until the new year, because I’m not sure I can make it much longer. I hate that I’d promised to make her love Christmas again, and we’re not even together on the day. I glance over at my tiny Christmas tree. When I’d come home from the wedding, I’d taken the little black box out of my pocket and set it there, vowing I would give it to her. Soon.

“Derek?” Adalie says. “Why don’t you call her?”

I shake my head. “It’ll be fine.”

Cerberus jumps up on the couch and puts his head in my lap. Abyss jumps down and swats at his nose. I grab her before she can make contact, and Cerberus keeps his head in place like nothing happened.

Spencer pulls Cerberus back, so he’s next to him and tells the dog to stay. I’m about to tell Spencer I’ll put Abyss in her catio when someone knocks at the front door. I look at each of my friends, confused at who might be at my door. Everyone is already here. They give me various versions of a shrug and I get up, carrying Abyss with me.

When I open it, I stare in complete shock at Ava and Lacey, standing outside.

“Why are you here?” I ask stupidly. Of all the things I’d intended to say the next time I saw her, that was not one of them.

“It’s Christmas,” Ava says, as though that explains everything.

“Oh.”

“May I come in? I’d like to talk to you about something.”

I hook a thumb behind me. “My friends are here. And my mom.”

She swallows hard, nodding. “Okay. Um. If you don’t mind talking in front of them, I don’t. I kind of need to do this now before I lose my nerve.”

I stand aside and they both come in. Lacey reaches out to pet Abyss, who strains to go to her, so I hand her over. Then I lead them into the living room.

“Ava is here,” I tell my friends unnecessarily as I move into the room, shoving my hands into my pockets to hide their shaking.

“Hi, everyone,” she says, giving them a small wave.

Lacey sits down where I had been on the couch, a big smile on her face. Mom and Lis come out of the kitchen. Ava and I are left standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. It feels like we’re about to put on a show, all my friends are missing is the popcorn.

“I’m sorry,” she begins. “I overreacted the other day. I thought you had done all this stuff behind my back, and you were trying to control things. I was wrong.”

“I—”

She holds up a hand, cutting me off. “Please let me get this out. I thought it was important for me to handle everything on my own. And maybe itwasimportant. But I’ve also already proved that. So why can’t I ask for help? Like Lacey did. She knew you would be there for her. When I thought about it, I realized I can also count on you.”

She clasps her hands in front of her, wringing her fingers together, and I reach out to take her hand to stop her, to offer my comfort, if she’ll accept it.

She does, holding my hand like I’m an anchor in a storm.

“I don’t want you paying for things for me without me knowing about it. If you’re going to help me with something, I need to know. We need to talk about it.”

“Of course.”

She bites her lip. Then takes a breath and says, “I don’t need you, Derek,” she says softly. “I can do it on my own. I just want you. I want you there helping me, offering me your support and strength. Letting me lean on you when life gets a little too heavy.”

She’s shaking when she drops to one knee, still holding my hand. A couple of my friends gasp, but I don’t turn to see who. Nothing could force me to take my eyes off Ava in this moment. She pulls the ornament I made from her pocket, holding it out.

“My father started a tradition when I was little. Every year, he would get a Christmas tree and cut off the bottom of the trunk and write the names of all the people in the family on it. This year, we put your name on our ornament. I want your name to be on it next year. And the year after that. And all the years for the rest of my life.”

A tear slips down her cheek and I wipe it away with my thumb.

“I’m not suggesting we get engaged right this second. We’re still working our way back together. But if you’ll give me another chance, I promise I won’t waste it. The thing is, Derek, I’ve only ever been yours. Back then. Now. And all the days in between.”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet, Ava?” I kneel in front of her, reaching over to take the small box from under the tree and opening it for the first time since I bought it. This time, it’s Ava who gasps as I remove the ring, sliding it onto her finger. “If it’s within my power, I will do anything you ask me. Even if what you ask me tears my heart out.”

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