Page 100 of Why Not Now?

She swallows, looking up at me. “I don’t want to compete in gymnastics anymore. I don’t love it. All the pressure to win has sucked the fun out of it. I’ve already talked to my coach, and she said there’s an opening coming up for an assistant coach to teach the little kids. I’m going to apply.”

“I’m not taking money from you, Lacey.”

She smiles. “I want to get the job, either way. If you don’t want any money, I’m happy to keep it all.”

“Save it,” I say, stern. “At least some of it.”

She rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling. I feel like we’ve reached a new place between us. We’re going to be okay. But I still have one thing I need to understand.

“Why did you go to him instead of coming to me, Lacey?” I ask softly.

Her smile fades as she looks away again. “Because. He’s more like a brother. You’re more like my mom. I’m always so worried I’m going to disappoint you.” Her voice cracks.

“Lacey. You’re not going to disappoint me.”

“For a long time, I needed a mom more than a sister. And you were there, you filled that role for me. I’m sorry you had to do that. I probably still need a mom, but maybe we could just be sisters.”

I nod. “I’d like that. Will you tell me what’s been going on?”

She looks back at me, tears filling her eyes now.

“His name is Todd. He’s actually in grade twelve. He asked me out, and I felt so special to be dating someone older.” Her voice breaks again. “But he wanted to have sex and I’m not ready. I asked Derek, and he said if a boyfriend is being a dick about it, he’s not really my boyfriend, he’s just a dick. So, on Sunday, when Todd brought it up, I told him that and he said if he’s not really my boyfriend, I should get out of the car.”

I lean in, wrapping my arms around her as we both cry. I’ve never been more thankful for Derek than I am at this moment. I don’t care anymore that she went to him instead of me. I’m just happy she felt comfortable going tosomeone. And that, when she needed him, Derek was there.

“I don’t think he thought I was actually going to get out,” she says.

“I’m so proud of you that you did.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you. But we were fighting, and I knew Derek would come, too.”

I nod, pulling back to smile at her. “You did good. Not a lot of sixteen-year-olds would have had the courage to do what you did.” I wipe my eyes. “Enough. Present time.”

Lacey grins and claps and we go over to the tree where I give her the things I bought while I was at the Christmas Market with Derek. She’s delighted with the hat and scarf and oohs over the earrings, putting them in right away.

Then she hands me my gift. “Derek helped me pick it out. He said you’d like this one.”

Curious, I tear off the green paper with the red Santas and take out a box. I open it to reveal a sparkly green ornament. It’s made from glass and is long and thin, like an icicle. I’d pointed it out in passing when we were at the Christmas Market.

“He took you to get this?”

Lacey nods. “I told him, after we got the tree, that I wanted to get you one that’s just yours. He said he knew the one. We went to the Christmas Market, and he walked straight to it. It doesn’t have your name on it, but I thought it could be your special ornament.”

I lift it from the box, hanging it from my fingers so it spins gently on its string. I get up, hanging it on the branch next to the one he’d made for us, seeing his name in my writing.

I turn to Lacey, taking the wood ornament from the tree. “Do you want to come with me somewhere?”

“Where?” she asks, already standing.

“I need to go fix something.”

Chapter 33

Derek

“Yourkneeisjumpingagain,” Vic says, her voice dry.

They’d come over early since Lis is cooking dinner in my kitchen. She’s in there now with Mom, chatting over recipes. They’d come over here instead of us going to her and Spencer’s place because I have more space. They’d brought Cerberus over for the first time and Abyss is taking it with all the disgruntled dignity I expect of her. Which is to say, she’s sitting on the back of the couch, watching the corgi’s every move.

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