Page 19 of The Check Down

“What’s it like?” she asks, her eyes bright but filled withmoisture. “To be a source of joy for so many people?”

Her excitement pulls the most honest answer from my chest. “It’s humbling. And terrifying. And fun. Disturbing at times. Intense. Unrelenting. Exhilarating.” I huff a laugh. It still blows me away thatthisis my life, even after ten seasons. “Like a mash-up of all those things, really.” I shrug and clear my throat of the thickness that’s gathered there.

She nods slowly, understandingly, with a soft smile. “That’s a lot of emotions to experience at once. Most of us live with the burden of keeping a small number of people happy. Family, friends. But to feel like you’re responsible for carrying a whole city’s happiness? That has to be daunting.”

I marvel at her. How is it that, though she’s just met me, she can discern what I haven’t found words for in a decade? With a few succinct sentences, she’s not only summed up the fear nipping at my heels, but she’s also given me peace and assurance that my feelings are valid. I roll my shoulders back, and I swear the pressure glides off them like a marble down a chute.

Peace and validation. Fuck, I need more of those in my life.

Our dinners arrive, and we dig in. Conversation is limited as we chow down, revolving mostly around inquiries about how delicious our choices are.

When she asks me how my fish is, I go full dumbass again, without a thought. I scoop up a forkful of the deep-fried flakiness and hold it over the table for her to sample. She blushes, but she grips my hand and pulls it toward her mouth, never breaking eye contact. And as her lips close around my fork, my pulse goes haywire.

Friends don’t feed each other bites of food, you idiot.I imagine my conscience as a tiny cartoon replica of myself that sits on my shoulder and shakes a fist every time I cross the line. That little dude is pissed as hell at me right now.

I clear my throat and open my mouth, only to stick my foot in it again. “What are you going to do about Cock—”Fuck.“Uh, um, about your boyfriend?”

Awful save, fuckwad.Eyes closed, I berate myself, wishing I could rewind the last few moments. But when I swallow down my mistake and force myself to look at Brynn, she’s got her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed.

Shit. She’s going to ask me about that slip-up. Do I tell her that the guys on the team have given her boyfriend a crass nickname? Will she tell him about it? If so, will he confront my teammates?

I’m still running through scenarios when, like a punctured balloon, Brynn deflates. Her shoulders droop, and she drops her hands to her lap, her chin trembling. “I don’t know what to do about him.”

“He doesn’t deserve you.” I startle myself with the admission. Where the fuck has my filter gone?

“You don’t know me well enough to say that.” It’s a statement, but there’s no authority in her tone. Only sadness.

I rub a hand over my buzz cut and blow out a breath. “I don’t need to know more than I already do. Any man who doesn’t worship the ground you walk on isn’t worthy of you.”

Her eyes shine with unshed tears, but I forge ahead. Strangely, tiny cartoon Griffin isn’t waving any flags.

“Any man who would act likethatwith someone else when he’s in a relationship doesn’t deserve the devotion of an amazing woman like you. Being with you is a privilege. He’s gotta earn that shit, and let me tell you, Brynn, he sure as hell didn’t earn it tonight.”

“I moved here for him, you know.” Her voice is so hushed, I have to lean forward to make out the words. “We met in grad school at Vanderbilt. We had mutual friends. My roommate was dating one of his, so we hung out in the same group all the time. We were friends for a while, but eventually, he started making sure that we sat next to each other when we’d go out. That we were on the same team on game nights. One night, he walked me back to my apartment after a trivia night at the bar down the block, and he kissed me. It was easy to slip into a relationship with him.” She shrugs and swipes at an escaped tear. “We did the long-distance thing for a year when he got the job with the team. He begged me to move here. So I applied for the position at Townes and got it. And here we are.”

Her sadness makes my chest ache with an unfamiliar tightness. She’s revealed so much, and what I’m hung up on is the fact that our time in Nashville coincided.

This woman and I have shared the same city twice. That’s gotta mean something, right?

“Can I tell you a secret?” She angles her body closer and peers around the dining area, ensuring no one else is near. “I don’t likeliving in Memphis.” With a grimace, she straightens against the back of the booth.

Huh. That has my heart sinking a little. I fight the urge to argue, to try and convince her she’s wrong about the city I’ve loved for most of my life, but my words alone won’t change her mind. “Why don’t you like it here?”

She tilts her head one way, then the other, as she contemplates. “It’s more of a me issue, really. I feel like a jerk for telling you that. You obviously have a huge stake here.”

“It’s not just because I play for the Blues, though. My hometown is an hour from here. This place was my childhood ideal of a big, exciting city. It was such a thrill for my brothers and me to come here when we were kids.”

“I just…gosh, Griffin, I don’t fit in here. I’m an anomaly. I hardly venture out of our neighborhood or the university campus. We’ve been to the obvious places, like Graceland. Jack and I toured that right after I moved here.”

My heart lifts a little. Not all is lost. “That’s it, then. You haven’t experienced the true Memphis magic yet.”

“I’ve seen some of—”

I cut her off. “No. It’s more than the buildings or landmarks. True Memphis magic comes from the people, too. They’re the soul of this place. You, Brynn Nelson, not a gherkin fan, haven’t experienced this city with the right tour guide.”

She shakes her head, but the ghost of a smile flickers on her lovely face.

Tiny cartoon Griffin waves his arms over his head like he’s signaling a plane on a deserted island. He knows I’m about to be a dumbass again.

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