Page 35 of Dreams of Ash and Smoke

Chapter 17: Stained

Verena

Ihadn’t slept at all. The command he gave about shoes grinds my nerves and out of sheer petulance, I wasn’t wearing shoes today at all. Ruelle looks at me weirdly as she tries to pull out shoes for me but I turn her down. I wasn’t sure if he had told his trusted family of our plan, even though he said only Esmeray will know, but I keep my mouth shut just in case. She helps me dress in an elegant and simple, dark green and silky slip-dress.

“So, why are you not wearing anything on your feet?” She asks, brows furrow in confusion.

I smile at her. “Should I? I mean I see the staff of the palace constantly cleaning the floors, so they should be safe enough, right?” I ask her. “Plus, I simply hate shoes.” She laughs with me as we make our way toward the dining room for breakfast. I decide to join them this time.

“Verena, you’re joining us.” The former queen greets me. Everyone looks up, gauging my presence. I smile brightly at them, my head held high and politely wave. Even though I hadn’t slept, I still feel fresh and more awake than I had been in a long time. Something about last night made me feel more alive than I ever had before.

“Good morning, Your Majesties and Hadeon. Did everyone sleep well?” They exchange looks with one another. The king wasn’t here yet. EvenRuelle was looking at me like I had grown two heads overnight with my overly joyous tone.

“I did, thank you.” The king’s mother says to me, smiling softly, “But, you do not have to call me that. It’s so formal. Call me Calanthe, please.” She smiles widely at me, something in her is different, too. She doesn’t seem as tense today.

I nod before looking at everyone else, waiting for an answer, as I sit down. “My sleep was fine, thank you, Verena,” Hadeon speaks, looking eager to speak with me. I know he broke my trust but did I really want to spend more time angry at the only person who has ever felt like family to me?

Now, everyone looks to Esmeray for an answer.

“I had a dream where we had a pet buffalo who spoke to me. It was very intriguing.” She says, not meeting anyone’s gaze as she brings her cup of juice to her lips. “How was your sleep, Verena?” She asks me, finally looking up.

“Enlightening.” She hums in. I can feel Hadeon’s gaze upon me but I don’t meet his eyes.

As I finally settle into my seat, I can’t help but wonder when the food will arrive. Just then, Eryx enters the room with a serious expression on his face, mirroring the rest of his family. He signals to the kitchen staff to start bringing in the meals. My mouth waters as I watch plates stacked with various meats, cheeses, breads, fruits, and juices placed on the table. A bottle of sparkling wine is set between Esmeray and Calanthe, who mix it with their fruit juices. The sight makes me crave some myself, but I don’t dare ask for any.

Hands stack food onto plates and when I go to reach for some fruit, Esmeray speaks up. “Add meat to that plate, Ren. We’re training today.” Hadeon’s head swipes from her to Eryx, curiosity on his face. I didn’t know her and I were close enough for nicknames but a sense of friendliness overcomes me.

“Why?” Hadeon asks. She looks at him with a brow raised.

“I know you are second in command, Hadeon, but while you’ve been gone, I have been running things. So I’ll be training her for combat. Pleaseremember we are on the brink of war.” Esmeray’s tone shows no mercy or room for questions about her ability or judgment. “Eryx and I agreed that having her continue training would be best.” I nod in agreement, even though I am not a part of this conversation.

“I just think it’s too soon.” He pushes.

“Good thing it’s not your call then, isn’t it?” She drops her fork onto her plate, the ricocheting ring bouncing off the walls. “Where is this coming from?” Their eyes meet and neither looks away or blinks.

“Children! Please, let’s not do this. It’s morning and we all have a busy day today.” Calanthe tries. Neither look away from each other yet, and Eryx stares at his friend in question as I sit there quietly next to the youngest royal sibling.

Ruelle’s sweet scent lingers near me as she leans over to whisper in my ear, “They’ve been like this since we were children— always at each other’s throats and constantly questioning the other. Esmeray wanted that position so bad but Hadeon and her fought for it and he won in the end so while she missed his challenging presence, she enjoyed his position while he was gone.” She lets out a light laugh.

“Verena, do you mind training with Esmeray? Do you think it will benefit you?” Hadeon questions me, breaking their eye contact, “Because you do not have to. You do not need to learn any more than I have taught you. The danger of Dryston is no more while you’re here.” I’m shocked at his words. He knows he cannot promise that.

I stare at him, meeting his pleading eyes, and for whatever reason, I almost want to say no to training. I should trust him, right? I’ve known him longer than anyone else here. We have been friends for the past five years. But, his ego could be getting in the way of his judgment. The constant battle between him and Esmeray.

I look at Esmeray, Calanthe, and Ruelle, all waiting for an answer. Ruelle is sweet, and comforting. Esmeray looks as if she wants to stab Hadeon with the butter knife in her fist and Calanthe looks as if she’s trying to understand me just by watching. Anxiety wracks my nerves, the all-to-familiar feeling of being a pushover filters through me. I want to say no, not be a burden toanyone and just use what I already know. But why does it feel like it won’t be enough? I’ve read about the past wars and what they entail to an extent but without experiencing it, it is hard to know what I’ll be getting in to.

I lift my indigo gaze up to my left, meeting dark brown eyes and suddenly I pause. My breath catches in my throat as I read him as if he is open to just me. Light flickers within them. I’d assume they would be impatient, irritated eyes that would be piercing my soul to obey and say yes. And yet, somehow, I know that if I said I don’t want to train, he will support my decision without judgment.

My eyes stay on his as I speak, “I want to train with Esmeray.” There’s a gleam of something similar to pride in his irises as he breaks our contact, looking back down at his food to continue eating. There is a pleased look on Esmeray’s face as she gleams at me and while Ruelle and Calanthe have nothing to say, negative or positive, Eryx is calm as he eats. Hadeon glares at the military general next to him and suddenly I feel bad for choosing her over him.

* * *

“I want to see where you left off with Hadeon so we’ll start slow today before we get into the good stuff,” Esmeray warns me, the excitement on her face makes me smile back. I always enjoyed training, since it helps me release any frustrations. I know this trainer won’t go easy on me and I am happy about it.

“I can’t wait,” I tell her, making her smile grow more. “We did the basics. Should I grab a staff? We sometimes used them but we also used fake swords.”

She takes a moment to think and looks at Hadeon as he walks into the room to watch, I assume, he leans against the wall adjacent from us. “Let’s start with hand-to-hand. I want to see how far you got with him babying you like he used to do with Ruelle.” She smirks at his scoff but otherwise,he remains silent, crossing his arms over his chest.

I stance myself across from her on the mat, the same one I’ve memorized for 5 years with Hadeon. I see her eyes following each and every movement I make— assessing me. The thing I love most is that I don’t feel like she’s judging me in a negative way. She is simply trying to help me and a warm feeling settles over me.

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