Page 23 of His Orc Lady

“I can’t believe I never noticed.”

Steagor shakes his head, and I know he’s thinking through his interactions with me. I am, too, trying desperately to find an instance of when I left the Hill, just to prove him wrong.

“What?” Poppy looks from me to him and back. “You haven’t been outside? At all?”

I wring my hands together, squeezing my knuckles so hard it hurts. “I don’t like it much. It’s…so wide and open. And it doesn’t matter, my entire life is here, in the Hill.”

Steagor’s expression shifts to something like pity, and I hate him a little for it, even if none of this is his fault.

“How long has it been?” he asks.

I think about lying again. But he would know—and my lie would be easy to prove. He’d only have to check the logs at the front door. We have ledgers that go back a decade, all neatly organized, just as my own books. I’d made sure of that after Carrow’s near miss. The system had been my idea, and Gorvor, who had been just as shaken after having nearly lost a young member of our clan, had agreed.

Only Gorvor had gotten over that incident in time, and he has no issues going out of the Hill, whether to ride in the forest with his queen, play with his son in a meadow, or hunt with our best trackers.

And I haven’t. I’ve been here all this time, safe and happy, underground.

“It’s been years,” I whisper.

Poppy presses her fingers to her mouth. “Oh, Mara.” She sniffs, then asks, “Is it like Korr’s affliction but the opposite, do you think? He can’t stay underground for any longer than a couple of hours.”

“Perhaps.” I shrug as if this is nothing special at all. “I’m not bothered by it, though. Like I said, my life is here…”

“But it’s not anymore,” Steagor rumbles. “If your mate is human.”

Aye, there lies the problem.

“Humans need sunlight,” he adds. “They must spend time outside.”

I look down at Poppy. “I know.”

“Oh.” She hugs me again, her eyes shining with tears, her belly bumping me in the hip. “I’m so sorry, Mara.”

She draws back and allows Steagor to pull her into his chest. She seems so content, her lush figure healthy, her belly round and ripe. Her mate worships the ground she walks on, and I know she loves him back just as fiercely.

An ugly flash of jealousy for them both flares up in my chest, followed immediately by a sense of self-loathing. They’re only trying to help, and I’m thinking ungracious, envious thoughts. I want what they have so badly, but I don’t know how I ever will…

Useless…

“Have you talked to anyone about this?” Poppy asks tentatively.

I shake my head and try to shove down the old feelings. “No, but it’s all right. I’m useful here. In the Hill. Out there, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Steagor sees through me. He must know I don’t want to discuss this further, because he clenches his jaw several times, as if trying to choose the right words.”You’re valued here for more than just being a steward, Mara. You always have been.”

My eyes are stinging now, so I blink several times to chase away the tears. My voice comes out thick as I say, “Aye, but what am I without my work?”

What do I have to offer Owen if I leave the Hill with him? I’d only be a burden, a woman too scared of the open sky and the world he lives in to do much else than cower in fear.

“You’re a friend.” Steagor’s words ring through the small space. “You stood by me and helped me watch over Poppy when she was so ill, I thought I’d lose her forever. You accepted every one of our mates, and you’ve been afriendto them, Mara.”

My throat closes up, and I can only blink at him, my heart thumping too fast.

Poppy suddenly lets out a heaving sob, then squeaks, “It’s true! You don’t think I consider you a friend?” She swipes at her eyes, then strokes Steagor’s hand because he has already drawn her into another embrace. “I’m fine, it’s just that this pregnancy has turned me into a watering can. But I mean it, Mara. I’ve thought of you as a friend since the moment I first saw you.”

I blot my tears with the hem of my sleeve, then let out a shuddering breath. “Thank you. And I’m honored to be your friend.”

Steagor inclines his head toward the corridor, his ears twitching. “I think your captain has long gone. Will you try to talk to him or stalk him through the Hill some more?”

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