Page 19 of His Orc Lady

Owen stops, too, his blue eyes widening. “No—I mean, only for breakfast. But if you’d like, I could stay awhile.”

I could stay awhile.

My heart stutters, and for a moment, I think he’s talking about stayinghere, at the Hill—but he isn’t. He only means right now, in the baths, and I’m a fool for thinking otherwise.

I swallow past a suddenly tight throat. “But…you’ll leave. Eventually. Correct?”

He cocks his head to the side, and I know he’s having trouble following my thoughts—he just answered the same question from me, after all.

So I clarify, “You’re part of Lady Willow’s guard, which means that when she returns to the human lands, so will you.”

“Ah.” He dries his face on the towel, then lowers it again. “Yes. I’m still in the service of the Duke of Ultrup, and I’ll have to return to the city come springtime.”

“Right.”

I knew this all along. I knew it, yet I allowed myself to hope—to believe, if only for a little while, that he might stay. I gaze down at my hands, the image wobbly because I’m staring at them through the surface of the water. Or perhaps it’s my eyesthat are watering, which is bad, because I don’t want Owen to think he’s done anything wrong.

He hasn’t—he’s just a man bound by duty, and I need to respect that.

“Mara.”

His voice has me looking up again. He’s staring at me, expression tense, though I can’t be sure what he’s thinking. He’s human and a soldier, trained to hold back his emotions.

“Are you—?” He stops, then clears his throat and starts again. “You said you’re the steward of the Hill?”

I nod, wondering why he’s asking.

“So you have a dutyhere?” His gaze intensifies, his grip on the bathing sheet so strong, his knuckles are turning white. “You cannot leave?”

Oh.

He’s asking me the same question I demanded of him, only in reverse. And just as he was honest with me, I need to be honest with him.

“That’s correct,” I say softly. I’m proud my voice doesn’t break when I add, “I cannot leave.”

Chapter

Six

Owen departs soon after, climbing from his bathing pool while I turn around to give him some privacy. He bids me goodbye, and I return the greeting, trying not to stare after him as he disappears into the mist.

It’s high time for me to get out of the water as well, but I remain there for long minutes after, just so I wouldn’t accidentally run into Owen on my way out.

The truth is, we’d both set our cards on the table, and the outcome is exactly as I expected. We would never work in the long run, so it doesn’t make any sense to attach myself to him. If I let myself love him, and he left anyway, whether because of his duty or his own free will, he’d break my heart.

It’s better to keep myself as whole as possible. I’ve survived almost three decades on my own, so it shouldn’t be hard to keep it up in the future.

I avoid the great hall all through the breakfast rush and sneak into the kitchens instead to snag a bread roll from Carrow. But when I arrive there, my friend, who should have been on kitchen duty, is nowhere to be seen.

“Oh, Mara, you’ve missed all the excitement!” Earna wraps me in a tight, rosemary-scented hug. “Our Carrow has found himself a mate!”

I step back from her and grip her shoulders, gawping. “He did? Who is it?”

She lets out a happy laugh and dabs at her eyes with the corner of the apron. “One of the human soldiers. Who would have thought!” She points at the door leading to the great hall. “I think his name is Ian. He’s the one who’s been eating all the food. Don’t know where he puts it, bless him.”

I remember the kind-eyed soldier who shut up his rude colleague. “That’s lovely. How did it happen?”

Earna goes back to the kitchen counter, her hands already busy tying dried spices into little sachets to flavor the soup she’s making for today’s lunch. “Well, I’ve never seen Carrow stutter and stumble so much! This Ian came right to the kitchen door to ask for more pears, greeting us all polite-like. Carrow was standing right where you are, holding a big basket of fresh loaves, that one in the corner there.”

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