Page 10 of Fall

"Harley, no need to ruin all the fun," he says, and the few guys in the room laugh at my father’s poor joke. No part of this is fun, it’s just messed up.

Arthur smirks at me as he sits at the bar, watching, and I pull my gaze away from him back to my father.

"Come, sit," he commands, nodding his head to the empty seat next to him.

I tighten my fists and sit next to him on the sofa like he asks because I know he will just get Elliot back if I don’t. My father is dressed in a shirt that's open, showing off how much of a big guy he is. Luckily for me, I follow our father in that trait. I'm nearly as big as he is with all the training. The fights are few and far between and much more for my father's sick pleasure than the money I earn.

The minute I sit down, the slut who was flung over Elliot sits on my lap with her wandering hands. The smell of stale cigarettes and cheap perfume fills my nose, making me want to be sick. When I look up, seeing her dazed eyes and the injection marks scattered all down her arms, I feel sicker.

"Tell me, how is that pretty girlfriend of yours?" Arthur asks with a smirk as his hand travels up the short skirt of the woman he is with. She has similar marks on her arms, and I’m betting my father is the one who gives her all the drugs she wants.

"Fine." I grit my teeth, hating that he even knows what she looks like.

"Pamela, baby, take my boy and teach him how to look after that sweet girlfriend of his," Dad says, stroking the arm of Pamela, who is on my lap. Sickness fills me when I process his words.

"No."

I push away from the sofa to stand up, making Pamela jump off my lap, and my father stands too. There’s a strange silence in the room, just the music playing, but no one says a word. I know better than to show him up like this, but I don’t want to fuck whoever he wants anymore. I can’t do that and keep dating Hazel. It’s not fair to her. He comes close to my face as he grins in a cocky way.

"You'll fuck her, or I’ll get your brothers to,” he says, knowing I will protect them no matter what.

“When you’re done, I have someone for you to fight. I don’t want him walking after, so be ready." He squeezes my shoulder with a warning in his eyes, and I know he will beat the shit out of me if I say no.

I look over to the stupid woman who must be ten years older than me. I don't want to do this. I don't want to cheat on Hazel. I don't have any choice. But there is one choice I do have, and that’s breaking up with Hazel tomorrow and then never having a relationship again.

I don’t deserve that kind of happiness, and my brothers need me.

I wake up in a hot sweat as the memories of that fucking night wash over me, making me feel sick.What the fuck is causing me to remember this shit?It takes me a few times of rubbing my face to remind myself I’m in a better place. That I’m not a kid anymore, but the resolve of staying away from women and anything serious has never left me. I avoid girls my own age in case I fall for them, in case I like them too much. Older women are just easier, and usually mean I can walk away in the morning. No matter how shit that makes me. I do tell them it’s never more than one night and, usually, they want the same thing.

I roll out of bed and head to the shower, turning it to a hot temperature to wash away the thoughts of anything I remember. I dress in a suit and try to think of today, and then realise I'm taking Tilly to my work today.

Why the fuck am I nervous?

I haven't been able to get that kiss out of my head since Saturday, but all day Sunday, I couldn't get her alone to talk to because Izzy was there.

I brush my long hair back into a knot at the back of my head, and I finish straightening my tie. I have two Skype meetings today and three other meetings about new classes joining the gym. It's going to be a long-ass day.

I look at myself in the mirror, noticing all the changes since I was seventeen years old. These days, I don't look like my twenty-four-year-old age, I look in my thirties. That's why I have no fucking clue why someone as hot as Tilly would kiss me when she should be with someone her own age. Fuck, I know four years isn't a big age difference but, to me, it feels like it.

I come out of my room at the same time Tilly does. I flash her a smile as I check out her outfit. Fuck me, she looks like a sexy librarian. She is wearing tight, little black slacks and a fitted, white shirt. Hell, she even has these black glasses on. Shit, all I'm going to be thinking about today is fucking her over my desk with just those glasses on. Maybe she could keep the heels on, too.

"Morning, I like the glasses," I say in a deeper voice than usual as my palms start itching for me to touch her.

"Morning to you, too. Thanks, I only wear them when I work." She blushes, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear as the rest is up in a tight bun.

I step a little closer, just so I can smell her sweet, fruity smell, and whisper, "You should always wear them, they make you more spectacular than usual."

"Oh," she whispers back, as we stare at each other.

The door down the hall bangs open as Luke comes out of his room, and I step back.

"Good morning," he shouts, way too cheerful for first thing in the morning.

"We’re leaving in an hour," I say to Tilly, but I leave before I do something stupid, like press her against the wall and kiss her. I have to adjust myself in this tight suit, and Luke notices with a laugh before he walks down the stairs. I'm lucky he doesn't say anything.

I hear Tilly following us, but I force myself not to look back. I need to get as far away from her as possible. I head straight to the espresso machine and turn it on, sliding a cup underneath it.

"Do you want one?" I ask Tilly as she hovers in the doorway.

---