Page 40 of Be My Traitor

“Ah. That. What about it?”

“Did you mean it?”

“Did I-” Lucas shook his head before reaching out with his arm so I could snuggle into his embrace.

I cuddled up to him, grateful for the fact that it meant we could talk without my having to look at him. I didn’t want to embarrass myself if I’d said something stupid.

“What would make you feel I didn’t mean it?”

“Well, we were right in the middle of having sex. Plenty of people say things they don’t mean just to get what they want.”

“And you think I needed to say that to get you to sleep with me? Because I don’t recall having to say it last night to get you into bed.”

I could feel my cheeks burning. “Maybe you were overwhelmed by what was happening between us.”

“I won’t deny that you were making me feel pretty darned amazing, but that’s not why I said it. Look at me, Milly.”

I shook my head.

“Look at me.” He spoke gently as he put a hand under my chin and lightly nudged me up so I had no choice but to look at him. “Of course I love you, Milly. What man wouldn’t? You’re sweet, loving, an amazing mum, but you’ve got an inner steel that means you’re nobody’s fool. I look at Amber and I’m in awe of you for bringing up such a cute, smart kid all by yourself. If we can create someone like Amber together, I think we can build an amazing future. I’m going to say this again so you know I mean every single word: I. Love. You.”

I could feel emotional tears pricking at my eyes.

“And I love you, Lucas. I always have, even when you were with Ivy. I just didn’t think I could ever have with you, so I buried my feelings and hoped they’d go away.”

“Well I’m glad they didn’t. Because it would kill me to think you didn’t love me the way I love you.”

Lucas leaned forward to kiss me deeply and my world was complete.

Chapter 16

Iwas used to early mornings thanks to Amber, but it wasn’t my daughter who woke me the next day. It was my boyfriend.

Boyfriend.A warm glow spread through me to think that Lucas and I were officially dating. I’d dreamed of this day for so long and now it was finally here, I felt like pinching myself to be sure it was real.

Even so, waking me up at five was enough to test the patience of the most devoted of girlfriends.

“What’s wrong?” Yawning, I got out of bed and went to the ensuite where Lucas was just finishing up.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to bed.”

“Meh.” I shrugged. “I’m always being woken up by Amber, but this is earlier than I’m used to. It’s barely 6.”

“I figured I ought to go home and get cleaned up before going to work,” Lucas explained. “I’ve got an image to maintain, remember?”

“Yeah, I suppose you do.” I went to stand behind him, putting my hands around his waist and looking at the two of us together in the mirror. “We look good together, don’t we?”

“That’s why Amber’s so cute.” Lucas dropped a kiss on the top of my head then swivelled round in my arms so he could hug me back. “We make a great couple. But for now do you mind if we don’t tell anyone?”

“Sure.” I fought to keep my smile straight, not wanting to let on that his words cut through me like a knife. I should have known Lucas wasn’t being serious last night. I was his dirty little secret. Always had been, always would be.

“Hey, I don’t mean it like that.”

“Like what?”

“You’re giving me a look like a wounded puppy who’s just been kicked.” He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. “Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want to keep us a secret forever. It’s just that with me being the head and you being a teacher and all the House politics on top of that, it makes sense for us to wait until we can make a proper announcement. I know how malicious some people can be and I’d hate for anyone to try and hurt you because of our relationship. Between you and me, once I’ve found my sister I’m planning on quitting as head anyway and if your dad is as good at finding information as you say he is, I’ll be gone by the end of the term and nobody can write us off as another workplace romance.”

“Okay.” I hoped he meant was he said, I really did, but I’d been hurt a few too many times to take him at his word.

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