Page 56 of My Brutal Alpha

I was angry with them both too.

Unwilling to give Sebastian the chance to come find me yet, I decided I'd go to the one place that offered me complete solace.

Sights set on the gym, I wasted no time going and hoping to clear my head. At the very least, to not spend every waking moment dwelling on what had just happened.

I knew it would be impossible to ignore that anger and pain, but I needed to keep moving. I needed to do something so I didn’t break completely, even if the tears had already stained my cheeks.

While in the facility, feeling the slightest bit of relief, knowing it was the one day of the week, I kept it closed for maintenance's sake; I could breathe for the first time since Ezra blew me off. I turned only a section of lights on and kept the open sign turned off.

Wasting no time, I got onto one of the machines and did my best to focus. To let the physical exertion carry me through.

As I forced my body to move, that numbness began to fade, and the sadness shifted into mostly anger.

I was furious with Sebastian for getting in the middle of everything when he had no right to. When it was completely out of line for him to be so hypocritical and judge us both for something that was beyond our control. He had been no better with Lydia, and while he seemed to understand that by the end of our conversation, the damage had already been done.

I was angry with myself for not only letting myself slip up but also for not realizing what was happening between mybrother and Ezra—for not stepping in when I should’ve been there to defend him. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so negative about our connection and himself.

Finally, I was pissed off that Ezra didn’t have it in him to fight for us. To meet me halfway and choose us regardless of what Sebastian said. I sensed a deeper pain in him when he called things off again, and I understood why. It didn’t take much to see how he had a habit of internalizing everything, and given how rocky his relationship was with his parents, it was no wonder he was hard on himself.

Through the bond, I had felt that helplessness as it churned within him, regardless of how he tried to hide his emotions from me.

While he had been cold and cruel just like before, I knew well enough to be able to see the raw pain and devastation within him.

As I got my heart rate up and pushed through the pain of it all, I couldn’t help but wonder how everything had become so complicated. I didn’t know how our situation could be going so well just for it to all crumble again. We had so much promise, and we were connecting so well, yet it only took my brother getting in the way to bring it all crashing down.

With the numbness leaving me and the emotions guiding me through my workout, it took me some time to realize what I was doing.

I was still functioning despite essentially being broken up with all over again. I was able to carry myself through physical exertion despite the pain.

The first time around, when the mate bond was broken, I could hardly get myself out of bed. I was a pure mess, and for a while, I scared even myself.

But after the second time, I was pushing through the heartache that, in a way, seemed almost superficial.

That told me one thing—Ezra didn’t completely reject me or the bond.

When I searched within myself for it, sure enough, it was still there. Despite it suffering slightly from that distance between us and the strain he put us both through, that tether was still intact.

I had to pause then as I considered that thought.

We were both upset and hurting, and while he obviously needed space and time to sort through his anguish, he didn’t count us out completely.

I didn’t know if that had been the intention or if our bond had grown so strong that it required more pressure to break it. Whether he wanted to separate us entirely or not, it seemed that connection refused to bend.

My heart clenched at the thought, unsure if I should embrace that hope or throw it away completely.

One part of me still wanted him, while the other couldn’t help but wish to be freed from that constant back and forth.

Just as lost as before, yet offered the slightest hope for a less depressing outcome, I found my anger lessening slightly. At least, who it was directed at seemed to shift somewhat.

I didn’t know if I’d be able to forgive Sebastian so easily for his interference, and I wasn’t sure if I should even be open to forgiving Ezra if he ever tried to make amends. While it was tempting to think about, I had the feeling Ezra would rather suffer in silence and avoid it all than confront it head-on.

It was something about him that drove me insane, but again, I understood why.

Time seemed to move in a complete blur as I continued working out alone. I didn’t know how long I had been there, but when I heard the door open in the distance, I noticed the sun was slightly lowered as I glanced over.

As my eyes focused on the two figures walking in, my brows furrowed with immediate surprise. I didn’t expect anyone to enter in the first place, given how it clearly wasn’t open.

“The gym’s closed today—”