Page 51 of My Brutal Alpha

But despite being well aware, I did it anyway. I couldn't resist her, regardless of trying initially. I couldn't resist the allure of her, almost like the inevitable bond pulled us together.

As much as I blamed myself for not having better control over my desires, I knew for a fact that mate bonds worked in strange ways, and even if we did resist it longer, we never would've been able to ignore it forever.

But even if Sebastian was right, I couldn't admit that. My pride wouldn’t let me.

"What would you have me do then? Just act like I never felt anything for her—pretend like that connection didn't bring us together?" I demanded of him, wondering how he could handle the situation himself.

Sebastian's jaw clenched. "I don't care how you'd do it, but I'd expect you to leave my damn sister alone. To realize that you would only ever hurt her, and she'd be better off without you."

The pain moved through me at his words as my brows furrowed, and I tried to steel myself against those feelings. "You can't be serious."

But he still didn't pull back. Instead, Sebastian moved closer, anger flaring all over again. "I'm dead serious. I don't care about your bond. You've already done enough. Leave her alone, stay out of her life, and don't do anything else to hurt her. You know it was bound to happen anyway."

I didn't want to lose our friendship, but the way he said those things to me so carelessly, hitting every insecurity I had despite knowing my difficult past, it was getting harder for me to put up with it.

Shaking my head, I did my best to stand my ground. "You know I can't do that...if I were to break this bond, she'd be far worse off than the first time. It's different now. Rejecting her again would cause irreparable damage. And I can't resist it. Not this time."

Of course, this wasn't what Sebastian wanted to hear. Instead, he put a hand against my chest and pushed me back, glaring at me. "I. Don't. Care."

Aggravated by the shove, I clenched my teeth back at him, blood boiling. "You know what it's like—you know how impossible it is to ignore!"

His lip curled in anger, eyes brimming red as his wolf threatened to come out. "You don't deserve her. You'll just fuck it up like you always do."

That was it. The final cord had been struck, and I couldn't try to pretend like I wasn't burning on the inside.

It was too much.

Retreating within myself before I did anything I might regret, I snarled and pulled away from him, disengaging.

With anger coursing through my system, I slammed the gate on the way out and pushed forward with furious steps.

Despite having worked to dismantle some of my defensive walls, hoping that opening up would allow me to grow closer to the ones I cared about, I immediately realized that it only made me vulnerable—susceptible to anyone's attempts to use that weakness against me.

At once, those walls went back up, and I stormed off as I tried to keep myself from shifting and losing my mind.

I didn't want to hurt her, but a part of me knew Sebastian was right.

It didn't matter how I tried or whether my heart was in the right place for once; I would never be what she deserved. I would never be good enough.

As much as it hurt to even consider it, I was bound to only ever cause her pain. And while some heartache was inevitable, I didn't want to delay it for her sake.

I was no good—broken and unstable. Unpredictable. I carried and shoved all my trauma aside, and even if I did everything in my power to pretend like I was normal, I knew I never would be.

Zoe was a pure light who didn't deserve to be forced into dealing with someone like me.

In every way, I didn't deserve her.

Chapter 24 - Zoe

The faint clatter of dishes filled the kitchen as I loaded up the dishwasher while Lydia was busy boxing up the rest of the cake and putting the leftover food away.

It was quiet compared to the busy afternoon with everyone around, creating a stark difference I had to get used to at first. But the two of us worked slowly and peacefully as we appreciated the time we had spent with the others.

"Today was nice," Lydia eventually said with a pleasant smile on her face. "I really appreciate everything you did and all the hard work you put into this. I was genuinely surprised.”

I grinned back, touched by how happy the whole day made her. Knowing that kind of thing was always sure to uplift her mood, it was well worth the effort every time. “Of course. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't throw you the best baby shower?"

Lydia hummed her amusement. "Well, I can say you certainly threw a best friend-level one. You pulled all the stops, huh? It was even bigger than the first one."

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