Page 41 of My Brutal Alpha

Regardless of what was happening or what was about to happen, I was glad to see that she was back at the house. I wasalmost surprised since I assumed she wouldn't want to be back after everything.

I didn't know how much more she could take or what her breaking point would be, but seeing her in front of me seemed like a good sign.

Still, the numb expression on her face made my chest ache, and with us in range of each other again, I could feel that she was still upset. I didn't blame her for even a moment.

"You're here," I stated, unsure what else to say or how to address everything that happened. "I texted you...I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

"I know," she murmured, unable to look at me directly. The hushed tone of her voice, giving away how hurt she had truly been, only made me feel worse. "I wasn't ready to say anything yet...but now I have some things to get off my chest."

Despite my usual need to be abrasive and defensive, I knew there was no place for that now. Instead, I pushed the reflex aside and nodded, allowing her the time she needed to talk.

Realizing it, Zoe took a deep breath. "What happened tonight wasn't okay. I thought things were going well but felt completely thrown for a loop. It's clear to me that your parents aren't willing to accept anything other than you agreeing to what they want. Because of that, I can't keep up with this arrangement."

Despite knowing she was completely right and that the agreement was essentially dead, a slight ache still moved through my chest. Regardless, I just nodded in response.

"I can't try to convince someone who doesn't want to be," she continued, expression worn-out and tired. "And another thing...I can't stick around knowing they want you with her. Knowing they'll never accept me because I'm not Nora."

Sensing the doubt in her voice, as if assuming I was considering picking Nora, my brows furrowed. "I don't care if that's what they want...I don't want anything to do with Nora. I don't even know her."

Zoe sighed, looking almost defeated still. "Still, there's so much we've never talked about. Things we've both kept bottled up and hidden away from each other."

My heart squeezed then, aware that she was right. I couldn't deny how often I preferred to bury things rather than address them.

But standing there with her at that moment, I knew I couldn't keep doing it. I had to stand up and couldn't just put my head in the sand.

She deserved better than that.

"You're right...so let's talk about it now," I said, keeping my voice steady to prove I meant it. "Whatever you need to say, just say it. Get it out in the open."

Zoe kept her eyes on me for a moment as if considering what I was saying, and then she nodded and gathered her words. "I'll start from the beginning then...the first time we slept together, I thought we were something. I assumed we were going to be together, especially since we had a mate bond. So, when you rejected me, it broke me. Beyond the connection shattering, it ruined me. Going through that time was the most pain I had ever experienced, which is why I couldn't stand to be near you without fighting or lashing out. I was so broken, and it took me so long to start feeling normal again."

As she spoke, my guilt deepened, and I knew she had every right to feel those things.

I did break her, and I could do nothing to undo it for her.

Zoe shook her head, expression giving away the pain it still brought her. "Finally, when I was feeling more sure ofmyself, you swooped in and kissed me that day of the opening. You pulled me right back in, and as much as I wanted to ignore it, you pushed even more. Before I knew it, I was back right where I started, unable to say no to you and unable to ignore how much I still wanted you. I knew I should've declined to help you with everything, but I just couldn't. And now that the bond has returned, everything is even more complicated than before."

As she spoke, I felt moved and affected by every word. Finally, everything was laid out between us, and with that, I managed to gather up the courage to try at least to correct the record.

Pulling in a breath of my own, I gathered myself and nodded absently before meeting her gaze. "That day I rejected you...it seems to be where everything started to decline. Can I explain my reasoning?"

Zoe's gaze, while cautious, remained on me. She eventually nodded.

"I was aware of the mate bond, and it was both exciting and terrifying. It was then, and it still is now. I wanted nothing more than to follow through with it and to accept you as mine. I wanted all of it," I explained, as sincere and vulnerable as I could manage. "But I called it off because I...I still had too much baggage to deal with. Between my parents and my childhood, I just didn't want to bring you into it. I'm sure you can understand why now."

Zoe nodded despite the flicker of pain at the reminder that moved through her features.

Releasing a heavy breath, I continued, "Besides, I knew Sebastian would kill me for it. If he knew that I not only slept with you but also initiated a mate bond, he would've torn me to pieces. I didn't want to bring you that drama either, so I pushed you away."

Zoe closed her eyes and listened to everything I said, her face softening slightly. "I just thought you used me..."

My brows furrowed slightly at her words, and I felt a sense of conviction move through me as I stepped toward her. "I could never use you like that...it hurt me too. As much as I didn't show it, it hurt like hell to reject you like that."

Opening her eyes again, she met my gaze, still tired but not as pained as before. "And the bond now...what are we supposed to do about it?"

Sighing, I considered the weight of what came with that notion, aware that we couldn't just ignore it forever, either. "I...don't know."

As a sad look crossed her face, I couldn't stop myself from stepping even closer and putting a gentle hand against her arm. I gazed at her, trying to be both determined but careful.

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