Page 14 of My Brutal Alpha

I wanted to know what it felt like to be loved by someone so unconditionally and to feel that love every day, regardless of what was going on around us.

I needed to know what that was like.

For a moment, it felt like I had been so close to knowing. I had the chance to explore that connection with Ezra, but he had burned that idea down and reduced our connection to ash.

He brutally rejected me, and I never told anyone else about it. I was too embarrassed to. Instead, I kept moving forward, focusing on my work and planning the gym developments.

Not even Lydia knew.

Knowing my mate's bond crashed and burned before it could ever really begin, I felt like a complete failure. I hated it.

Regardless of that fact, I was supposed to pretend to be the very thing I wanted more than anything with Ezra, all to convince his parents to get off his back.

Watching as Callie bumbled around, sometimes losing her footing, I put my arms out to catch her from time to time, smiling at her unbridled joy.

Feeling her warm body in my arms, along with her delicate heartbeat that grew stronger every day, was enough to make me feel almost emotional.

She was a precious part of Sebastian's life, and while I certainly felt it as her aunt, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have a child of my own.

My thoughts got away from me again as Callie got back up and hurried off with an excited swell of laughter. In that moment of weakness, something in me wished the fiancée part of our arrangement had been true. That at one point in time, it was real, and Ezra cared enough about me to get to that point.

Something about the idea warmed me, and despite my best interests, I lingered on that prospect.

But as the tower of building blocks tipped and hit the floor, I nearly jumped out of my skin and sucked in a breath, forcing those thoughts away.

Shaking my head, I dismissed every idea that was remotely related to Ezra and me being something. After everything that happened, I refused to think about him in that way.

I knew it was a slippery slope and had to push those old feelings back down.

After all the work I did to feel better and more like myself again, I wasn't going to open that wound up for a second time.

Lydia let go of a contented sigh as she stepped into the living room. She toweled her hair down and wore a fresh set ofclothes. She smiled with relief and came over to us. "Thanks so much for watching her while I showered. That hit the spot."

I smiled and nodded as I got up from the floor to sit on one of the couches, slightly relieved she was back to distract me from my thoughts. "It's no problem at all. What are aunties for?"

Lydia smiled, and it grew as Callie hurried over to her excitedly, nearly toppling several times before reaching her. She put her arms up in request, and Lydia gladly picked her up, bringing her into her lap.

I couldn't help the warmth that moved through me at the sight. I was so relieved that Lydia managed to get the life she wanted. She especially deserved it after everything that happened.

As Callie settled in her lap and happily leaned against her, looking tired, Lydia let go of a gentle breath and returned her attention to me. "Now that order has been restored, and I feel clean again, I want to hear everything that happened at the grand opening."

Despite being well aware that Sebastian would've already told her the gist of it, I was happy to hear her interest anyway.

"It was way bigger than I imagined, honestly," I began, thinking back on it fondly. It was a day I had looked forward to for so long, and to see that dream of mine brought to life meant so much to me. "There were loads of people, and I spent most of the time greeting them and preparing memberships. It seemed to impress everyone, so I imagine it will be a hit."

Lydia offered me a genuine grin as she rubbed Callie's back, gently lulling her to sleep. "I'm so glad to hear it, Zoe. I know how much this means to you, and you've done an incredible job so far. It'll be a success for sure."

Touched by her words, my cheeks started to ache faintly from smiling. "That means so much to me. I feel lucky to have so much support from everyone. It makes all the difference."

"Of course. You deserve it," she affirmed, words nothing but kind. "And hey, Sebastian and Ezra are both there right now, so it must be good."

As much as I wanted to forget about Ezra and everything surrounding the plan, I remembered how he mentioned we would need to at least let our close friends in on it. I didn't think I'd find a more fitting time, so I pulled in a breath with a feeling of resolve.

"Speaking of Ezra..."

Lydia's brows lifted with her curiosity. "Yeah?"

"Something interesting happened during the opening," I began, already able to feel her anticipation. Even if it wasn't just some simple matter for me to talk about, I knew it would be something for Lydia to chew on, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn't share it with her?

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