Page 13 of My Brutal Alpha

The moment I was alone and out of earshot, I forced out a breath and tried to push away the aftermath of that awkwardness.

Heading downstairs, I found a spot on the couch and turned on the TV, even though I wasn’t paying much attention.

I had the feeling she'd likely stay in the spare bedroom for most of the night, leaving me uncertain about the whole thing.

The plan was absolutely based on instinct and convenience, not to mention desperation, but that didn't mean I wanted either of us to be uncomfortable or hurt by it.

I just wanted to free myself from my parents and to help her get Rory and anyone else off her back. I could only hope those two things would be possible.

Still, as I sat back in my armchair and absently watched a recent game on the screen, I couldn't stop my mind from drifting to the kiss. To how shocked Zoe was, regardless of how she seemed to melt into it.

While I didn't want to admit it, that short-lived affection had been satisfying, and I couldn't fight the small smile that moved across my lips at the thought of it.

Chapter 6 - Zoe

Coming to terms with everything, especially the kiss and how Ezra showed me off for his parents, was more difficult than I initially imagined.

I felt strangely overwhelmed.

Before, Ezra and I got along so well that I envisioned those things with him: living with him, meeting his parents, and getting engaged for real. Even if we had known each other for a short time then, there was no mistaking how that mate bond snapped into place for me.

I felt so connected to Ezra, as if we truly were two halves of one whole. It was like I had finally come home after I met him, and after we had sex, that feeling increased tenfold.

Then, I wanted to be with him. I wanted everything that came with having a mate, and I could see myself being happy with Ezra.

But when he rejected me so coldly, claiming he didn't want anything to do with me, it broke me in ways I had never been hurt before. Losing that connection I quickly depended upon was agonizing, and I put in serious work to get over it again.

Having Ezra pull me into his side and kiss me so casually as if it were second nature, gave me absolute whiplash. Despite knowing it had only been for show to convince his parents and Rory we were together, I still couldn't get over how real it felt. How natural it seemed.

It was difficult for me to understand, being in his house, in his space, and currently in his life. To be in his pack grounds and surrounded by his members again was strange…almost like nothing had changed and no time had passed.

I have made it my life's mission to hate him since the day he rejected me, and it has been mostly easy to accomplish.However, with the new and uncharted territory we found ourselves in, things never seemed more uncertain.

Without a doubt, I was still furious with him for breaking my heart and ruining what could have been a good thing. But there was no avoiding the weird sensation that moved through me at the memory of Ezra calling me his fiancée.

The way it affected me so easily worried me. I made strides in healing myself, and while that wound had mostly healed, I knew it was still vulnerable. I didn't want to risk reopening it, but it was too late to go back. Ezra sealed that fate for both of us when he told his parents we were engaged.

All in all, I couldn't believe I even agreed to the ridiculous plan. It was crazy, and I had no business convincing anyone of anything. Especially nothing involving Ezra.

Despite how Ezra had given me space for those first few days while we both tried to get used to the new arrangement, I needed a break and decided to head back home. Luckily, Ezra was already on the way to see Sebastian, so he dropped me off before heading out. Of course, the ride there was just as awkward as before, but at least he didn't try to make any small talk.

But finding myself in Sebastian and Lydia's place gave me the chance to breathe again.

Luckily, it was also an excuse to play with Callie.

Even if I was lost in thought, I couldn't help but smile as the little one stumbled around, alternating between playing with blocks and coloring while beginning to form more words.

I did my best to keep up with her despite my wandering mind, at least finding joy in her presence. Something about her smiles and excited laughter made my heart swell, and I was over the moon about being an aunt.

Seeing how perfect Sebastian's life seemed after everything he’d been through was nice. He and Lydia sorted everything out and realized they couldn't be without each other. Their mate bond was powerful enough for even outsiders to feel, and I deeply admired it.

I was beyond happy for the two of them. I always wanted my brother to find his mate and Luna and to know what it was like to feel that kind of love.

After wanting it so badly, he finally got that connection, and they even managed to start their family together, too.

It was so nice to see, but at the same time, it forced me to examine my own life, to look inward, and to try to understand what direction I was heading in.

Even if I didn't make it overly obvious, I wanted a successful mating story of my own. I wanted to say that I had a connection so strong and pure that nobody would ever doubt it.

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