Page 69 of Under Their Protection

“I am a patient man, Anika. I will keep asking until you tell me,” he says as he brushes stray hair from my face.

“Why can’t you just drop it?”

“Because I care about you, and I know you are only acting like this because you are hurting. I can’t help you unless you talk to me.”

“I didn’t ask for anyone’s help,” I tell him.

“I know, but you are getting it. Talk to me.”

“Stop fucking saying that,” I snap.

“No. Talk to me.”

“God damnit, Theo! Will you just fucking stop it?” I say louder. I know he is intentionally pissing me off so that I’ll snap and say it. I can’t stop this spiral that is happening in my head though. I know I need to say it, or it will eat me alive, but I’m not ready to face the fallout.

“Talk to me, Anika,” he asks with a soft smile. Something about his smile sends me over the edge.

“I like you, okay?” I yell and shove him away from me. “I have feelings for you, and it fucking scares me. Every time I open my mouth, I make things worse for everyone. I don’t want to be the reason you all have problems. I know I’m a fucking lunatic who fellfor the man who’s helping me deal with my fucked-up childhood. I know I am only attached to people because they are kind to me, and I never had that growing up.

“Now all of this is causing problems. I made Rowan mad at me; a man I’ve known for eight years and has never been upset with me. I finally face the fact that I have these feelings and in one fucking day I’ve caused all these issues. I am a fucking wrecking ball to y’all’s lives and you people pretend like I’m not. Like I didn’t just bring my psychotic ex into everyone’s lives. I can’t do this. I can’t be the one that destroys others.” By the time I stop rambling, I am in tears. Theo has me backed against the wall again with his hands on my waist. Max and Rowan are standing on either side of us.

Realizing I just word-vomited, I want to run away but when I try to move Theo pushes me back against the wall. “What else?” he asks.

“What do you mean?” I sigh.

“You saidjustbring. What else?” he asks.

Oh shit…

“Isaac has texted me a few times. I think I’ve seen him a few times at the store,” I say.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” he asks.

“Because I didn’t want to put anyone in danger. He’s after me, not y’all,” I say.

“Please tell us from now on if he reaches out, okay?” he asks, and I nod. “Now as far as everything else…”

“I don’t need feedback on my ramblings. You don’t have to respond to that,” I say.

“You just sat there and told me you have feelings for me, but you do not want to hear my response?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I shouldn’t have said any of that,” I say as I bow my head slightly and look at my hands. Theo wraps his hand around the back of my neck and lifts my chin with his thumb. “Theo, please don’t. We don’t have to do this,” I say, sniffing back tears.

“You yelled at me and pushed me away while telling me that you have feelings for me,” he states.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry,” I sniff.

“Anika, I’m not upset at you. I know the only reason you did that was because I was pushing you to open up. You scared yourself with your own feelings, but you were so worried about how it would affect everyone else that you forgot to think about how you felt about it,” he says.

“I just don’t want to disrupt people’s lives.”

“You are not a disruption,” he says sweetly.

“Say it before she pushes you again,” Rowan jokes. Theo grins at Rowan then turns back to look at me.

“You don’t have to…” I start to say but he shuts me up by kissing me. My world spins when he kisses me. When he pulls away I am left breathless and wanting more of him.

“Anika, sweetie. I like you a lot. Two weeks ago, when you laid your head in my lap, I was done for. I was already attracted to you, but that sealed it for me. You are so fuckingaddicting and I have no plans of giving you up. Annie knows what my feelings are for you, and she has since that night. She is very encouraging of it and has bugged me for the last two weeks for me to tell you,” Theo explains.

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