Page 48 of Under Their Protection

“Nika, I need you to say something,” Max says as he cups my face. I can’t pull myself out of this mess inside my head. I can’t even make myself look at him or move.

“Baby, please say something,” Rowan pleads. I scream inside of my head but nothing is coming out. It’s as if I am frozen.

“Mom, I don’t know what to do,” Rowan says to Maria.

“Take her home and call the psychiatrist,” she says softly. “She’s disassociated and needs to be somewhere familiar. She needs time.”

“Go,” Emma says. “I’ll have him meet you at your house. We will be right behind you.

“Fuck. Don’t call Theo. He will think I’m crazy. I’m not crazy,” I yell inside my head.

Rowan scoops me up and puts me in the back seat where Max pulls me into his lap. Everything is a blur as we drive to the house. Max keeps me snuggled against his chest and I stay disassociated.

We pull into the driveway and Rowan scoops me up again to take me inside. I hear other voices when Rowan sits me on the couch next to Max. Rowan takes a seat and I sense someone is sitting on the coffee table in front of me.

“Anika, I’m not going to make you talk but I need you to nod if you can hear me,” Theo says, and I nod. “Okay, good. Did he say something to scare you?” he asks, and I nod again.

“Did he put his hands on you?” Rowan asks. I nod and sniff back tears.

“I need to know what happened, Anika,” Theo says softly.

“I got mad and said I hope they both die then pushed him,” I say quietly. I tell him word for word what Isaac said before throwing me to the ground. My voice is so quiet but I can’t force it any louder or even look up at anyone.

“We need to call the police,” Mia says.

“It won’t matter,” I whisper.

“What do you think caused you to disassociate like that?” he asks.

“I was scared. I could hear everyone, I just felt frozen. I couldn’t make myself talk or move,” I say, still looking at my hands.

“Why did that change once you knew I was here?” he asks. I don’t say anything because it’s going to come out rude. “Can I guess?” he asks and I nod. “You are afraid that if you don’t talk to me then I’ll do what your parents threatened to do and that fear overrode that trigger.”

“Yeah,” I whisper.

“I’d rather that you do talk to me but I’m not going to lock you up because you are scared or triggered. It happens and it will happen again one day. The point of you seeing me is so that you learn how to cope as all of this getsdragged up,” he says.

“I’m sorry,” I say, sniffling.

“Why?”

“I… don’t know. I shouldn’t have gone down there,” I say.

“Anika, your ex followed you to your husband’s mother’s house. You were being protective of them,” Theo points out.

“It was dumb,” I admit.

“Maybe, but everyone here would do the same thing if faced with that situation,” he says. “Anika, look at me please.” I huff and look up at him.

“Why can’t they just leave me alone?” I ask.

“Because some people hate not being in control. When you married Rowan, you took control of your life and they are not used to you doing that,” Theo says.

“I just got lost in my head. I need my brain to be quiet,” I say.

“Why don’t you go to…” Mia starts to say but I shake my head and cut her off.

“We’re not talking about that,” I snip. Max, Rowan, and Theo chuckle as they know why I shut her down.

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