Mr. Pickles, our neighbor across the hall’s Chinese Crested dog, yips from behind their door, but I ignore him and keep pleading. “I know I messed up. I know. I take full responsibility for the way I treated you, and I want to do whatever it is you need to make it up to you.”
I wait in silence, hoping to hear movement on the other side, and finally, I hear a stomping walk that ends with the door being shoved directly into my face to close it again.
I wait for a moment, the rattle of the chain bolstering some hope, and rush forward as soon as she pulls the door back. She holds up a hand to stop me, and I screech to a stop, my body halfway inside.
“Accountability is only half of the equation this time, June. Apologies won’t do me much good if I don’t even know who the fuck you are.” She shakes her head, and I suck my lips into my mouth, clasping pleading hands in front of my chest.
“Please, just let me come inside so we can talk. If you’re still mad at me after that, I’ll understand, and if you want me to go and give you space, I will.”
Just then, the elevator doors open behind us, and Beau comes sliding out, his hurried appearance not far off from my own.
I know my hair’s a mess and my chest is covered in a full-blown sweat, but looking good is hardly my biggest concern right now. I am wishing, however, I’d have been less concerned with Christmas theming and more concerned with the Miami heat when I picked this sweaterdress.
“Oh great,” Avery remarks at the sight of her brother. “The gang’s all here, I guess.”
For the first time in forever, I find myself wishing Beau away. If it’s going to drive apart the only family I’ve ever known, it’s not worth it.
It doesn’t matter how much I love him; I can’t bear the responsibility of breaking apart the Banks family. Even if that means I have to sacrifice myself.
Avery starts to shut the door again, but I hold it open with a strong hand, turning back to Beau, my eyes pleading. “Beau, please. Give us time to talk. Your being here is only making it worse.”
“I’m here because I’m part of it,” he contests, and my chest twists.
“I know. But please, give us some space.”
He studies me for a long, aching moment before walking to his condo and unlocking the door. When it shuts behind him, I feel the vibration crack against my heart. God, this is awful, and it’s all my fault. Beau was ready to tell them the truth, but I kept delaying it. And now, he probably feels just as bad as I do right now. But I don’t know how to carry on from here if Avery and I can’t fix what I’ve broken.
I push through the door as soon as Avery shows signs of letting me and shut it behind us as she walks over to the couch, slumps down, and crosses her arms over her chest.
I start again with an apology, though, I know that in and of itself won’t make this better.
“I’m sorry, Avery. I’m sorry for being the kind of person I wouldn’t want as my own friend, let alone yours.”
She chuffs. I keep going.
“I lied and I snuck around, and I did it knowing it would hurt you.” I shake my head. “I’ve…I’ve always been into Beau. Evenwaybefore I had any business seeing him as anything of the sort, and all through his relationship with Bethany. But I didn’t use you to get to him, and I would never dream of giving up what we have to have something with him.”
“But that’s exactly what you did, June,” she says, narrowing her eyes. “You set me aside. Our time together, my feelings—all of it was disposable for a good time with my brother.”
“It wasn’t just a good time, Ave,” I start to respond, but the way her face wrinkles up with disdain makes me shut my mouth. I look down at my lap, twisting my fingers together. There’s not much you can say when you know you’ve wronged someone. There’s not much you can say when you’re facing the hurt you’ve caused on your best friend’s face.
“Putting aside the fact that he’s an old man and my brother…it’s the way you treated our friendship like it was some third-classTitanicticket.” She lets out a deep sigh. “Oh well, I guess it’s going down with the ship, huh?”
She shakes her head and starts to get up, and I reach out for her hand with a plead. “What can I do to make it better? How can I make it up to you? Fix it? I don’t want this to be the thing that drives us apart. We’ve been friends for way too long, and you mean way too much to me. I love you, Avery. I love you so much. What can I do?”
Avery’s face is as serious as I’ve ever seen it. “I don’t know if there is anything, June. I really don’t know, but I think you needto leave. Just being in the same room with you is too much for me.”
My heart breaks into a million tiny pieces, but I swallow down the urge to sob and head into my bedroom to pack a bag.
Avery wants me gone, and the last thing I’m going to do is cause her more pain than I already have.
I pace my room as the clock turns over to midnight, my message on the namesake app still unread.
ThunderStruck: June, are you okay? Where are you?
I heard their apartment door slam several hours ago, right at the culmination of June’s heated conversation with Avery that I couldn’t quite make out through the wall, and I’ve been worrying about June ever since.
Her room is silent, and Avery plays loud, angry music meant, I know, to make a point to me.