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“Don’t apologize,” he says calmly, finally resting a hand on my back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I have no qualms about talking about Louis with him, but I’m embarrassed that it can still cause me to wake up in a fit.

“It was about Louis.”

I hate even saying his name, but Sebastian only presses a kiss to the side of my head. He doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t have to. Just being here, holding me silently is the best thing Bash could do right now. To this day, he’s one of three people who know: Penelope, Sebastian, and Louis. I never cared to tell anyone else—I didn’t see a reason to when it was in the past.

“Thank you,” I whisper hoarsely, my breathing steadying.

“Was it the same one…?” He trails off hesitantly, and I manage a short nod.

“Yeah.”

When we were together last time, I’d have the nightmare a few times a year. It was always the same; reliving it as if it were happening for the first time again. If it happened while Bash was gone with the team, I’d call no matter what time itwas. That was one of the many things I had to learn to deal with on my own after we broke up.

He presses another soft kiss to my hairline, my heart melting. “I’m sorry, Lia.”

I cling to him, craving the kindness and love that Sebastian is offering me. “I’ve told you before that I don’t want you to apologize for him. He didn’t touch me, but it’s knowing what would have happened if I had taken the drink.”

“I know you don’t want me to apologize for Louis. I’m sorry about tonight. I shouldn’t have left you and Blake alone to go talk to Owen. I wasn’t thinking.”

His confession hits me because out of everything tonight, I hadn’t once blamed Sebastian for those guys coming up to us, or what happened after. “It wasn’t your fault, though. You shouldn’t have to think about it, but tonight wasn’t the first time as we both know, and it certainly won’t be the last.”

Sebastian’s body tenses underneath me, but it’s the reality we live in unfortunately. “Don’t say that.”

I lift my head up, despite not being able to see him in the darkness. “Based on those men’s reactions to you coming back to the table, they didn’t care you were there. You needed to talk to Owen. They probably would have come over while one of you went to the bathroom or some other excuse. It could have been anything.”

“They were wrong. God, Lia, I’m so sorry that tonight happened. I should have realized it’d bring up these memories for you.”

“Don’t be. I didn’t think about it either.” I exhale shakily, holding his cheek in my hand. “I don’t want to talk about him anymore. Louis can’t control me if I don’t let him.”

“No one can control you. I don’t think it’s possible, and I certainly don’t want to ever try.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” I lean forward, pressing my lips gingerly against his. My hand remains on his face as the other one rests on his chest, feeling Sebastian’s heart beating rapidly beneath my touch.

We lie there, enjoying the comfort of existing in this moment together. My heart rate is much calmer in my chest, but it drops when Sebastian speaks again, the lack of confidence causing my nerves to spike. “Lia, I need to tell you something.”

My heart drops into my stomach.Fuck. Nothing can ever be simple.“And what if I don’t want to know?”

“It’s nothing bad. I’ve just been trying to work up the courage to tell you I saw Kiera.”

I take a moment to let his words sink in.He saw his ex. Okay, no big deal.“That’s it?”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad at you for that? I’m not your keeper.”

He lets out an immediate sigh of relief, pressing his lips against my neck. “I met with her to ask her if she would consider saying something about how the baby isn’t mine. I got a text from her the other day saying the story will be released any day now.”

“No more pretending to be the bad guy?” I ask hesitantly, and he kisses my neck again.

“Yes.”

I want to roll my eyes, but I’m too exhausted from the last twelve hours. “Yes, you have to continue pretending to be the bad guy or yes, you don’t have to be the bad guy anymore?”

“The second. I’m not going to be taking any more falls for anyone moving forward.”

“Good, you deserve better,” I respond, yawning as I curl tighter against him as if it’ll be enough to remind myself I’m with a good man. I love him, even when I hated him. It’s never been a choice for me.

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