Page 33 of Almost

“But—”

I cut her off quickly. I can’t let Kiera take the fall for this, when everything was my doing. “I need to tell you why Thalia and I broke up; I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

She shakes her head quickly, averting her gaze. I hate that I’ve messed this up so badly she won’t even look at me. “You don’t need to explain. It’s none of my business.”

I can fix this.I reach for her hand, squeezing it gently. “Except it is, and Iwantto tell you. I should have told you a long time ago, but honestly, Thalia is a hard topic for me to talk about because the reason we broke up is that I proposed to her, and she said no.” The words feel like cotton coming out of my mouth because it feels wrong to say that Thalia said no. I believed it for so long, but I don’t know what to do with the truth. “It was three years—shit, four, I guess—years ago. This house was something I bought with the intent of living here with her, but after we broke up, I couldn’t part with it and the memories.” It’s not easy to admit, but I know the part about the ring is going to be harder. I reach over into the drawer of my nightstand to grab the velvet box I set in there earlier, with the hopes it will soften the blow.

Her blue eyes widen, and Kiera opens her mouth to speak, but I resume talking before she can. “I’m not proud of this next part, but the ring you’re wearing is the same one I proposed to Thalia with. I was planning to ask Nina to comefor a visit to go ring shopping before Mimi started…” My voice falters, and I clear my throat quickly. “You found this one before I could do that, and I didn’t know how to tell you everything. I’m so sorry, Kiera; it was a shitty thing for me to do, but I’d really love it if you would still marry me?” I ask tentatively, opening the box to reveal a brand new engagement ring.

Kiera gasps in surprise, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. “You still want to marry me?”

“Of course I do, baby.”

She nods quickly, and I slip the old ring off her finger, replacing it with one that only belongs to her. “I love you.” Kiera’s crying harder now, and I shift to pull her into my arms. She rests her head against my chest, clinging to my shirt as I clutch Thalia’s ring in my hand. The diamond cuts against my skin, but I welcome the feeling. It’s the least I deserve.

“I’m so sorry, Kiera. I should never have made you doubt my feelings for you,” I apologize, stroking her back as I feel my heart rip into two pieces: the half that belongs to Thalia and probably always will, and the other half I promise to use to love Kiera the best I can.

I wish I felt relieved by explaining, but it feels as if I’ve replaced one lie with another.

She’s shaking and I hold her tighter, hoping that I can be enough for her. I should have told her everything a long time ago, but I was afraid she’d leave me. I should have believed more in the kind of person I know Kiera to be. It would have saved everyone a lot of heartbreak.

“I decided I’m going to sell the house too. Before you say anything, I already called a realtor, and I’m meeting with her tomorrow. I want us to start fresh somewhere else with nosecrets—a place that’s ours,” I promise as Kiera lifts her head to look at me. I wish I could read her mind to know what she’s thinking.

“You don’t have to do that,” she whispers.

I lift my hand to gently brush away her tears. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to. I should have done it a long time ago.”

I’m finally letting Thalia go. This house is filled with memories that I can’t be surrounded by if I hope to put our relationship behind me for good. I need to do this for myself.

Chris was wrong—Kiera is enough for me. I love her, and not because she’s convenient for me to love.

Kiera leans up to kiss me, an urgency I wasn’t expecting catches me off guard. I lose myself in the moment as she repositions to straddle my waist, slipping her hands underneath my shirt still damp from her tears. Her fingernails scrape over my skin, causing me to jump as I fumble trying to pull her hair out of the ponytail it’s in.

She gasps as I tug on the strands gently, breaking our kiss while I take full advantage of the opportunity to kiss the spot under her ear that drives her crazy. “You’re beautiful,” I mumble against her skin.

Kiera pulls at the bottom of my shirt, no longer satisfied with touching me beneath it. “Take it off.”

I feel like I haven’t been this close with her in forever. Physically because I’ve been trying to respect her request to be celibate until the wedding, but mentally too. There’s a weight that’s been lifted off my shoulders, and I wish I’d known telling Kiera would be so liberating. I’m a little surprised she wasn’t more angry, but Kiera’s never had a temper. It takes a lot to push her over the edge, but the tears I expected.

“Sebastian, I need you. Please,” she says, grinding against my hardening erection. Alarms start going off in my head, and I feel my mind clear from the haze of lust.

I’m going to kick myself for this later when I’m rubbing one out in the shower, but I rest my hands on Kiera’s hips to lift her up slightly to put space between us.

“No. You said you wanted to stay celibate before the wedding. We’ll have all the time in the world to make love after making it through the next forty-six days because there isn’t a part of you that I don’t plan on enjoying tremendously once you’re Mrs. Kiera Walker,” I tease, trying to soften the blow of rejection. I lean forward, kissing her cheek gently as her mouth hangs open in disbelief.

“Are you seriously turning down sex right now?”

“I can’t believe it either, but yes, I am. You wanted to do this, and I think you were right about waiting making it more exciting. It’s only a couple more weeks.”

I don’t want to rush this. I want to do this right. And this, as uncomfortable as it might be for me at the current moment, is what she wanted. I’m not going to take advantage of her in a vulnerable moment after Kiera’s already clearly expressed she wanted to wait. Honestly, I’m in a bit of a vulnerable position as well because I want to get my head screwed on right before we’re physically intimate again. Taking baby steps could be really good for us.

“Seb,” she whines, jutting her lower lip in a pout.

I kiss her again deeply, unable to resist stealing one as I savor the fact she’s still in my life. I’ve excelled at messing everything up, but picking Kiera to spend the rest of my life with wasn’t a mistake.

Thalia is already an almost, but I’ll be damned if I let Kiera become one too.

“As much fun as this is, and believe me, it’s a lot of fun. I do need to go take care of myself in a cold shower.”

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