Page 37 of Primal God

“I did know, and, yes, that’s why we’re celebrating.”

Clara says, “I wish Diego would talk more. I miss his voice.”

Diego stills at this, spoon halfway to his mouth.

“Diego will talk when he’s ready. Until then, we’re going to support him.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means we’ll be there for him. Sometimes just knowing someone is there for you is enough.”

Clara seems to mull over my words. “I guess.” She turns her gaze to Diego. “But you have to promise you’ll start talking again.”

Diego gives her a small nod and resumes eating his ice cream. Clara does the same until both are finished.

“Ready for ballet?”

“Yes!” She turns to Diego. “Are you sure you don’t want to try?”

He shakes his head vigorously, making me chuckle to myself. I’m guessing Clara has asked this of Diego many times before. Over the past few weeks, I’ve started to think of Clara as Whirlwind Clara. She moves around, creating chaos, and then moves off just as quickly as she came. Diego, on the other hand, is reserved and quiet. It’ll be interesting to see what personality Isadora has.

The thought makes me frown, because I won’t be around to see what kind of personality she has. And I hate how much that thought hurts. But not as much as knowing that these kids will never know their younger sister.

Clearing my throat, I say, “Let’s go.”

We walk the short distance to the studio. Clara runs in, going to her class, while Diego and I settle in two chairs after I park Isadora next to my chair. A lot of people just drop off their kids, but I’d rather be here, just in case. Plus, from my seat, I have a lovely view of Clara’s class. It’s adorable watching her and her classmates try to learn the moves. Surprisingly, Clara seems to be a natural, and that’s not just because I’m biased.

While we wait, I go over the schedule for the rest of the week. Tomorrow, Isadora has a playdate that the twins will attend. We have a slight break before the twins have a routine checkup with their pediatrician. The rest of the week is just as busy. It’s crazy that these kids have more of a social life than me.

Cecely

Thanks for sending over some

I didn’t realize how many diapers R went through.

LOL tell me about it! Let me know if you need more.

We’re good. How’s ballet?

Good! Diego had a good day at therapy, too.

That’s great. We’re just chilling on the couch.

A picture comes through that has me smiling. I notice Diego is looking at my screen, and my chest tightens. It’s moments like this where I think about saying ‘fuck it’ and telling Dr. Santos everything. But I don’t because I’m scared.

I’m about to put my phone away when it buzzes.

Adam

You still alive, Lilith-not-from-the-bible?

I am. Are you?

Barely. It’s been rough.

Why?!

Because I haven’t talked to you in weeks.

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