Page 134 of Primal God

“Not at all. I know just the place.”

An hour later, I’m eating the best burger in the world. We’re sitting next to each other in the booth, and Dimitri keeps one hand on my thigh the entire time. We talk about everything. His day. Mine. The funny thing Clara said the other day. We talk about everything except for the fact that I love him and that I’m scared he doesn’t feel the same way.

After we eat, we head back home. I should just say it. Tell him my fears.

But I don’t.

After we park, I grab the papers and get out of the car. The lights are out in the house when we enter.

Dimitri says, “I’m going to step into my study for a moment and answer an email.”

I nod. “Don’t be long.”

“I won’t.”

I take my shoes off, setting them on the shoe rack, and make my way upstairs. After checking on all the kids, I go to our room and slip out of the dress. God. I don’t remember it being so snug, but maybe I’ve gained some weight.

Sitting on the bed, I flip through the papers, making sure there’s not any personal information that shouldn’t be tossed in the trash. A page in the middle of the stack has me stopping.

Subject: DISCHARGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR FEMALE PATIENTS

Re: Birth Control Drug Interaction with Sugammadex (Bridion)

During your procedure or surgery, you received medications that lower the effectiveness of birth control medications. If you are on any type of hormonal contraceptive (birth control medication), you need to be aware of this:

Sugammadex (Bridion) is a medicine that helps to speed up recovery from anesthesia drugs patients receive during surgery. Sugammadex may decrease the effectiveness of your birth control for up to 7 days.

Here’s what you can do:

Use a backup birth control method for the next 7 days after your procedure or surgery.

Continue taking your hormonal contraceptive during this period (oral contraceptives, injectable contraceptives, patches, etc.) as well as backup birth control methods (male condom, female condom, female diaphragm, abstinence, etc.)

If you have questions, reach out to your physician or primary care doctor.

I still, rereading the paper.

Dimitri enters and asks, “Everything okay?”

“What do you know about this drug?” I try to say the name, pointing at the paper.

“Sugammadex? It’s something used in surgery. Why?”

“I found this with my discharge papers.” I swallow, my throat feeling tight. “It says I should have used extra birth control for a week after the surgery.”

“Yes, that’s standard.”

“Well, that’s great, but it didn’t happen.” Using my phone, I pull up my menstruation tracking app and still. “Shit.”

“What?”

I meet his gaze. “I’m late. And I’m never late.”

He moves toward me. “Everything is going to be okay,minha vida.”

“Is it?” My chin wobbles. “How can you be sure?”

I lean into his embrace.

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