Page 23 of First Comes Marriage

What did you expect? This was some stupid ploy to piss off Holly that got out of hand. You were never supposed to end upmarried to the guy.

She knew it wasn’t arealmarriage, not like the one he had wanted with her sister, not like the one she’d thought she had with Jordan. Her breath caught, lungs burning as she willed herself not to cry at the sudden realization that he may have married her, but he never wanted her. It was all a mistake, a stupid, drunken mistake and, despite his confusing as hell chivalry, none of it was real. Not the kissing or the moments when he’d looked at her like…well, it didn’t matter what she’d thought she saw in those looks. It wasn’t real, and in only a few days it would be like none of it had even happened.

Why did that thought hurt so much? It’s not like she had planned on marrying him. It’s not like they were in love. They didn’t even know each other anymore.

Oh, God, I’m going to be twice divorced before I hit thirty-five.

Could she even survive another divorce? The last one had left her barely scraping by, a hollowed-out shell of her former self, without a husband, without a home, without the studio she’d worked tirelessly to build. What would she lose this time? Did she even have anything left to lose?

“Breathe, Sabrina.” His voice was soft, like the whisper of distant thunder. Her eyes went to his, darting between them as she felt the edges of her panic beginning to close in again, and this time it had nothing to do with the airplane. “Breathe,” he commanded.

She drew in a breath, her ribcage aching, as though more than her pride was bruised, as if her skin would turn purple and green in the days to come, painting her with the proof of a pain she couldn’t explain. His hand tightened in hers, his icy blue eyes holding her rapt.

“I promise, it’ll be like it never happened.” His thumb drew circles on her palm between their clasped hands.

A startled burst of laughter pushed through her lips. He thought she was worried theywouldn’tget an annulment? Thatthe idea of staying married to him had made her forget how to breathe, when all she could think about was how little she had left, how much harder it was going to be to lose him a second time around.

He was never yours to begin with, idiot. Not then and not now.

It’s not that she wanted to stay married—signing away half her life to another person wasn’t something she’d ever intended to do a second time. Of course, they would get an annulment or a divorce or whatever else people did in these situations. It’s not like he was actually her husband.

She wasn’t sure which hurt more: the fact she’d been reckless enough to get married again, despite all her promises to herself to stay single, or the idea of no longer being Sebastian Graham’s wife. Either way she was screwed. If they stayed married, she’d always wonder when it would fall apart, when the rug would be pulled out from under her and she’d lose everything all over again. And if they didn’t...

She tugged her hand out his grasp, folding her hands together in her lap and leaning against the wall of the plane to put a few inches of distance between them. Something flashed in his eyes that she couldn’t read, and he clenched his jaw as he pulled his own hand back, adjusting his suit jacket. The wedding ring felt heavy on her finger as the matching band of gold on Baz’s left hand glinted in the sunlight streaming through the plane window.

“You’re still wearing your ring.” A pathetic flutter of hope gasped for air in her chest.

He glanced at his hand as though it were a surprise, his lips pressing together in a tight line. He clenched his fist and turned that cold stare her way. “So are you.”

“Where did we get wedding rings?”

He looked at her as though she were stupid. “Typically, when you marry someone—”

“No, I know that. But I mean, people usually buy the ringsbefore the ceremony, like at a jeweler’s or something. Where did these rings come from?”

He looked at the ring on his own hand again before glancing at hers, huffing out a laugh. “Fuck if I know.” A hint of amusement tugged at the corner of his mouth, tipping up his lips into an unfairly disarming smirk.

She laughed, an uncontrollable wave of mirth that wrapped around her as the absurdity of the situation finally registered. He chuckled, as though her laughter was contagious, and relaxed back against his seat.

“The fuck were we thinking?” he asked with a barely concealed grin.

“I’m pretty sure weweren’tthinking.” She rolled her head to the side to get a better look at him, the humor slipping away. He really was the most beautiful man she’d ever known. “If I was going to wake up married to anyone, though, I’m glad it was you.”

He met her gaze, his eyes holding hers. What she wouldn’t give to be able to read the look in his eyes.

“Sebastian, last night, when you kissed me...” His eyes dipped to her lips as if he was considering kissing her again. “I’m really glad you did.” He arched an eyebrow at her and waited for her to continue. “All those nights at the food pantry, when we’d stay late to finish stocking for the next day, I wondered what kissing you would be like.”

“You did?”

Had his voice gotten deeper?

“Mmhmm. But then you met Holly...” She shut her eyes, forced herself to take a breath.

Why did you bring up your sister?

“I didn’t know.”

“I know. You were always nice to me, but you didn’t look at me the way you looked at other women.”

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