Page 39 of Stranded for Christmas with my Boss

“Okay, goodnight,” I say, my smile fading the moment he leaves.

Silence echoes throughout my apartment as I flop back down onto my bed, noticing how much emptier and colder it feels now that he’s gone. I should feel guilty for what just happened, and part of me does, but that guilt is drowned out by the rush of being with him. It’s terrifying how much I’ve come to rely on these moments—how much I’ve come to rely on him. But whathappens when the truth comes out? When Austin realizes I’ve been lying? My life, my job, my heart—it’s all on the line. And I’m not sure which one I’m more afraid of losing.

I can’t have both. Disaster will strike eventually, and I don’t know how I’ll recover from that.

Yet, I continue allowing him closer and closer, letting him get dangerously close to my heart. Exactly where he can hurt me the most.

Chapter eighteen

Jensen

The next morning, despite getting less sleep than usual, I show up at work early, a strong urge filling my chest.

Thanks to my racing mind last night, I couldn’t fall asleep, getting far too swept up in complicated thoughts with no clear answers.

What am I going to do about my deepening bond with Alyssa? How can I put my full focus on the app update as Christmas creeps closer and closer? And finally…what the hell are my parents up to?

It’s a question that I ask myself often. Even after they neglected Holly and me in favor of their raging emotions and vicious heartbreak, they are still my parents. I still wonder about them, curious about their lives now that Holly and I are gone.

Due to last night’s conversation with Alyssa, I can’t get that thought out of my mind.

I stare at the empty search engine on my computer screen, my fingertips drumming against the surface of my desk. That tug of curiosity doesn’t relent, prodding my brain with insistence. Have my parents changed?

There is only one way to find out.

I go to Facebook and type in my mother’s name first, knowing that she’ll be more active and will share more posts than my father. I would be surprised if he even has a Facebook account in the first place.

My mother pops up at the top of the search results, my breath hitching at the tiny preview of her profile picture that shows her, another man, and three young kids. Disbelief coils around my heart, tension gripping my chest. I click on her profile, bringing up pictures and posts about how much she loves her husband and kids.Theirkids.

She has a whole new family.

A dry, humorless laugh puffs out of me as I search for my father, finding an account that’s shared by him and his new wife. She’s pregnant with a baby boy on the way.

After destroying their first family, they finally split apart and started new, happy families without even bothering to check on their first set of kids. Deep down, I had a feeling this was the case. Of course, they would better themselves after Holly and I left the house.

Now, I know for certain. They truly never cared about us. They were too swept up in their own emotions, their own relationship, and their own troubles.

I close out my browser and lean back in my chair, shaking my head. That’s why I haven’t checked up on them in years. I knew I wouldn’t like what I saw.

In the midst of my disappointment and frustration, I find myself wishing Alyssa was here in my office with me. Now,thatis a curveball. My relationship with my parents is one of my most vulnerable spots, my Achilles’ heel.

Yet, I exposed it to her last night, and the biggest shock is that I don’t regret it. In fact, it was a relief to tell her. To shift someof the hidden weight off my shoulders. I feel lighter today, even after what I just discovered.

A faint but steadily building glow blooms in the dark depths of my chest. I breathe in deeply, rubbing my hand over the front of my dark blue suit jacket. It’s a sensation that I’m not familiar with.

Hell, it makes me nervous, but there is a part of me that welcomes it. It doesn’t feel like something bad, but can’t that be said about a lot of things that are actually not good for you?

My thoughts trail off for longer than I realized because a light knock on my door frame rouses me abruptly.

“Jensen?”

I raise my eyes, spotting Alyssa in the doorway with a curious look on my face. I’m doing way too much damn thinking this early in the morning. “Yeah? Everything okay?”

Her mouth curls up a little at the sides as she strides closer to my desk, her hair falling in waves over the shoulders of her long-sleeved, red dress. Well, doesn’t she look like a present ready to be unwrapped? “Everything is good. I just wanted to remind you that the company meeting is starting soon. Everyone will be gathered in the main lounge.”

Oh, right. I’m hosting a company-wide meeting to boost everyone’s morale for the remainder of December. We’re coming up on the wire soon, and as Christmas festivities heighten, our determination to get finished in time for the holidays peaks as well. Wemustget done before Christmas.

“How is your door?” I ask her as I stand from my desk, slowly roaming around the side of it to get closer to her.

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