Page 58 of Court of Bone and Amethyst

He runs a hand through his hair as if frustrated, a grim laugh escaping his lips. “Of course I would, Sarielle. Because I love you.”

Time slows and then freezes as I stare at Zyren. My lips finally form the words my brain is screaming over and over again. “You love me?”

Anger and disbelief flash over his face. “Are you blind? I’mmadlyin love with you. Why do you think I’ve made such terrible choices? Why I couldn’t stop myself with you that first night in the meadow, betraying my king and my brother? Why I keep coming back to you even when we both know we shouldn’t?”

“I-I thought it was just physical,” I stammer, “an attraction between our inner nightmares…”

“That may be what it is for you, but not for me,” he growls.

“No,” I gasp. “That’s not what I’m—it’s just that you can’t love me. Youcan’t.” Horror rises in my chest, and I feel a crushing blackness tightening around me, threatening to pull me under.All this time I thought my love was unreturned, I thought he was safe…

“Don’t tell me I can’t.” He pulls back. “I could no sooner stop how I feel than I could lift the moon. I’vetried, Sarielle. A guardian shouldn’t love his ward. It’s the biggest betrayal of my oath that there is. I’ve tried so hard not to love you. But it remains an immovable and eternal fact. I will love you until I draw my last breath. And I will love you in the next life, and the one after that.”

Fresh tears run down my cheeks. I should be happy, but I can’t be. Because his words are his death sentence. “You can’t love me because if you do…”

His brow furrows. “Because what?”

“The book…”

“What book?”

“My family history. I read it there… I told you how the nightmare blood from that first union, the first war, how it doesn’t hit every Otreyas or Lyonian. But I didn’t tell you the rest.”

He’s staring at me, face set in a grim line. I take a deep breath and continue.

“If it happens that a male heir of Lyonian blood and a woman of Otreyas blood fall in love, and both happen to have nightmare blood and magic…” I force myself to meet his gaze as I utter the dark secret I’ve kept these past weeks. The secret I thought I would never have to tell. “The man will slowly go insane, and then… die.”

Zyren blinks several times, then shakes his head. “Sarielle, that’s an old book. That sounds like superstition, or maybe a series of unfortunate coincidences…”

“I can’t take that chance.” I shake my head firmly. “I won’t risk your life. I thought all this time… I mean, half the time you act as if you can’t stand being in my presence.”

“Only because I know I failed you,” he groans. “Only because I keep trying to find a way to redeem myself, only to fail again and again and again.”

“You didn’t fail me,” I whisper. “You could never fail me.”

We stare at each other, and then a realization moves over Zyren’s face. “Before… you said that if a Lyonian and Otreyas fall in love… does that mean?”

A half-sob trembles up through my chest. “I’ve loved you since before the meadow. I’m pretty sure I made that abundantly clear.”

Zyren pulls me against him, and his mouth finds mine. This time he is slow and sweet, kissing me until the room around us falls away, and it feels like we’re the only two beings who exist in the universe. When he enters me, he takes his time, stretching out the pleasure for an eternity until we both dissolve in ecstasy against each other. And then he begins again.

When we hear the blast of clarion horns outside the castle walls, we realize the night must have passed us by in our hours entwined together. I look at Zyren in panic. Surely it’s not dawn yet. But before we can speak, another set of horns can be heard from further away.

Zyren’s face grows stormy.

“Something is wrong.”

Chapter Thirty-One

Zyren

Ihelp Sarielle upoff the fur and we hastily get dressed. She leaves her ripped red dress on the bed, and dons pants, a tunic, and a fur-lined cloak instead. When we reach the door, I pause and pull her against me, my lips pressing softly to hers.

“Whatever happens out there, remember that I love you,” I say. “I will always love you. I don’t want you to exist another moment in this life without realizing that.”

Her golden eyes glow, her smile breathtaking. “As long as you remember that I love you, too.”

“Yes, my darling. I promise.”

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