Page 27 of Court of Bone and Amethyst

“Is there something else you’d like to enlighten me with?” I growl.

But just as swiftly, her face goes blank, all feeling vanishing behind a curtain. “No,” she says softly. “That’s all.”

Chapter Sixteen

Sarielle

When I wakea bit after dawn the next morning, Zyren is gone. I fight back my momentary panic when I remember that he’d planned to go into Frost Haven to get supplies. I climb from my makeshift bed, pulling my horse’s saddle pad around me, and walk past the sleeping bodies of Owyn and Merla, out into the misty, frost-tipped morning.

My breath makes tiny clouds as I walk through the ruins. I just need a few minutes to be totally alone. The night before had ended awkwardly, with Zyren storming away from me. I’d told Owyn and Merla that I was done practicing for the night, and we’d all gone to sleep around the fire while Zyren kept watch again.

I hate fighting with him because I know he means well. I’m sure it’s beyond frustrating devoting your whole life to someone who then, in turn, doesn’t take your advice. But just because he’s my guardian doesn’t mean he’s my sovereign. He can’t control me just because he thinks he knows better. I’ve never known him to be wrong, but in this, he isnotright.

I know in my heart that what I read, written by the hands of all the women in all the centuries before me, is the truth.

I just wish Zyren could have enough faith in me to see it.

Owyn understands, so at least I have one ally. I don’t know how I’d keep my sanity right now without him. He’s the one anchor to my family and my magic. And he’s not afraid of it—of me—like Zyren is. How exactly does Zyren think I’m going to learn to control my magic if I don’t use it? He wants me to suppress it, which is only going to make it stronger.

Remembering his face, how angry he’d been the night before, I can’t imagine how he would’ve reacted if I’d told him thewholetruth. The part that speaks to his fate specifically.Ourfate. Tears sting my eyes at the thought of it, and I let them fall, though in the frigid morning air, it feels like blades tracing down my skin.

As much as it hurts, this rift between us is for the best. Because if Zyren hates me, that will ensure the dark curse hanging over us never comes to pass. I suck in a deep breath, resolve hardening within me. Yes. This is for the best. Zyren doesn’t have to like me to be my guardian. And he’s already made it clear that’s the only relationship between us.

I turn and head back for our shelter. When I step inside, I see that Merla is gone, and Owyn is standing next to the fire without his tunic on.

“Oh! Apologies,” I say, spinning and facing away from him.

“It’s fine,” he says. “I just got grazed by an arrow yesterday. I need to apply a little salve so it doesn’t get infected.”

I keep facing the other way, until he clears his throat. “Actually… it’s a bit hard for me to reach, if you don’t mind?”

“Um, of course. Yes.”

I turn around slowly and walk toward him. Until this moment, I hadn’t noticed much about Owyn from a physical perspective, other than his blue eyes. Now, seeing him half naked, I take him in for the first time. He’s tall and lean, not as built and muscledout as Zyren, but by no means scrawny, either. I realize, trying not to blush, that this is only the second man I’ve ever seen partially undressed. Growing up in a cathedral didn’t exactly present many opportunities. I can see the cut he’s talking about, a long scrape about six inches in length across the back of his left shoulder blade, a line of crimson against his pale skin.

“The salve?” I ask.

“It’s right there.” He points to a tiny glass jar sitting atop his satchel.

I bend down and pick it up, twisting the lid off and scooping a bit of the ointment onto my ring finger. Slowly, I start dabbing it along the bloody line, trying to ignore the lines of muscle along his shoulder, leading down to his waist, and especially the two cords of muscle running around the front that point to a region I am all too familiar with.

Pictures flood my mind of Zyren’s body, of what that body can do to me, and how it feels when we’re together. Not just physically, it’s far beyond that. It’s tragic that I’m in love with someone who doesn’t love me back. And further, I now know hecan’tlove me back. Which means I’m destined to live a long fae lifetime alone. I recall my days back at the Amethyst Palace, not so long ago at all, when I’d watched Lilette and Dain and thought how foolish love is. I hadn’t been wrong. But now that I know what I know, it’s hard to want to go back, regardless of the fate now twisted around me like a hunter’s snare.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts, focusing back on the task at hand. Just a body. An attractive body, yes, but nothing I need to concern myself with. “I’m not hurting you, am I?” I ask.

Owyn shakes his head. “It’s fine. Just a scrape.”

It’s at that moment that Zyren walks in, and when his voice booms across the space, I nearly jump out of my skin. “Looks like I’m interrupting something. I’ll leave your gear right here.”

I spin, cheeks heating. “No, just putting some salve on a cut.” I put the lid back on and toss the jar into Owyn’s satchel.

Zyren’s face is colder than a winter storm as his gaze slides over me, making me shiver. “Let’s get changed and mount up. We need to get on the road.”

I walk over to inspect what he’d bought in Frost Haven. There are form-fitting pants made of a thick silky material, long sleeved shirts of the same cloth, and heavy, fur-lined cloaks.

“What is this stuff?” I ask, running my fingers over the silky cloth.

“It’s made from a special silkworm to insulate from the cold,” he responds gruffly. “I’ll leave you two to change.”

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