Page 6 of Court of Bone and Amethyst

How can I, a disgraced guardian who failed at his one duty, possibly have any hope of saving Valaron?

The idea of Avonia and her ilk ruling Selaye makes that deep, dark part of me so rageful, I fear if I lose control, the monster will be all there is. The man I am will never return. I’m not even sure there’s any part of him that is the same as before—these last weeks have changed me, have made me irrevocably different.

There is one reason for all of this, and she lies asleep in the bed just a few feet away.

Pain stabs through my chest. None of this is Sarielle’s fault, yet it’s undeniable that she is the cause. She didn’t ask for me to fall in love with her—she doesn’t even know how I feel. I can’t admit it to her, because that truth is the most shameful proof of my failure as her guardian. To sleep with her was bad enough, but toloveher? I cannot, in a thousand lifetimes, redeem myself for letting this happen.

It is all because of my decisions, my weakness. All of it. And now Sarielle is the one suffering.

I don’t know how to make any of this right.

When dawn breaks, I am no closer to an answer. I hear Sarielle awaken, and I fight the urge to turn and look at her. How the sun no doubt hits her golden eyes, how it makes her silvery hair glow. I would give anything to be at her side when she wakes, each and every day. But I cannot give in to my desires now, not after the damage they caused.

My brother is dead and my realm in ruin because of me.

And I’m terrified I’m going to fail Sarielle, too.

I wait a few minutes, until I know she’s out of bed and dressed, and then I go back into the room. “I hope you rested well,” I say from the doorway.

She shoots me an indiscernible look from where she’s standing a few feet away and then nods, once.

“Good. We will stay here until nightfall, and then, by cover of dark, leave the city and travel north to the Court of Memory. It will take three weeks, if we are lucky.”

“And if we arrive, and they won’t help us? What then?” Sarielle asks, her eyes and tone hard.

“You are their queen. They cannot turn you away.” I infuse my voice with confidence. “Three of the guardians I grew up withare stationed there. They are strong allies. It’s our best chance at building a resistance.”

“What of the warriors who fled Selaye? And the ones at the Court of Lions? Surely, few as they are, we should rally them. We need all the help we can get.”

She’s right. She has natural instincts as a leader and queen. “Agreed. We will arrange a meeting point for all refugees and anyone who wants to join our resistance.”

“At the Court of Memory?”

I shake my head. “It’s too risky to spread the word of our destination. But I can talk to Naryo, and have his network get word to any survivors. We can have them rally at an abandoned castle, and await news from us.”

“Which castle?”

“It is called Valor’s Keep. It’s about a week’s ride from the Court of Memory.”

Sarielle is quiet for several moments, and then her eyes meet mine, pain reflected in them. I can hear the tears in her voice. “And… my court? I know there were no survivors of Otreyas blood, but is anyone else still loyal to House Otreyas?”

My gaze meets hers. “The Court of Bone,” I say softly. “No one lives there now. Avonia killed not only your family, but everyone else she found there, then burned the castle. Many escaped, but they did not return to the site of the tragedy.”

A single tear escapes and runs down her cheek, a stark contrast to the sudden simmering fury in her expression. “We will rally a force at Valor’s Keep, like you said, and once the Court of Memory has joined us, we will have two armies to fight House Septarus. I will not rest until I have Avonia’s head on a spike above Selaye, where not even the crows will mourn her.”

Wisps of shadow hover around Sarielle like a pair of dark wings, and I suck in a sharp breath, taking a step closer to her. “Sarielle…”

A tremor moves over her, and flecks of black flood her golden eyes. She does not look like a queen, she looks like a goddess of wrath and midnight, a bringer of death. The air in the room grows scarce, and a hum rattles the furniture as her shadows spin faster and faster.

“Sarielle!” I bark, lunging forward and grabbing her shoulders.

Her eyes lock onto mine and she places both palms on my chest as if to shove me away. A pulse of power moves between us, and Sarielle’s shadowed wings arch forward, encircling us both in a wreath of darkness. Where her fingers rest against my heart, it feels like a crack of thunder and lightning, heat and magic. And that darkness inside of me, the nightmare that lives deep within, it hears her call, and it surges forward. The monster within does not know grief or guilt or pain. It only knows hunger and desire.

And it desires only one thing right now…

A growl climbs from my throat, and my hand laces around Sarielle’s back, pulling her closer…

There’s a crash and a scream from the hallway outside the room, and it’s that sound that breaks through the maelstrom of shadow that surrounds us. Sarielle’s eyes widen in shock, and I pick her up and set her forcibly away from me, sucking in a deep breath to clear the dark magic surging through me.

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