Page 55 of Court of Bone and Amethyst

My lungs take in a steadying breath, and I close my eyes a moment, steeling myself to reenter the melee and finish dancing with all these lords so I can make the impossible decision of picking one as my husband. I hear footsteps and open my eyes, and smile when I see Merla.

“Hi,” she says, smiling her own shy smile. “You must be exhausted.”

I nod. “Yes. That’s an understatement.” I let out a bitter laugh. “Perhaps you can help me pick one of these men as my husband?”

Her eyes widen. “I can’t imagine.”

A snort. “Neither can I.”

“Do any of them seem… decent?” She raises her brows.

“Decent. I suppose a couple seem tolerable.” I sigh. “But it’s hard to decide in one night. And then I’m stuck with them the rest of my life.”

“It seems so… transactional.” She frowns. “I thought marriage was supposed to be about love.”

“Love, ha.” I shake my head. If only she knew. I do actually love the man I married, but he never wanted to marry me. He only did it to save Valaron. It’s beyond ironic that now I have to make that same choice. “If only.”

Merla looks over at me, her face inquisitive. “I saw you dance with Zyren.”

“Yes.” I wave a hand dismissively. “He was rescuing me from someone with very poor manners.” I dart a glance over at him, but he’s still a few paces off, his eyes scanning the room, not paying us mind. I doubt he can hear us over the buzz of voices in the room.

She’s silent a moment, then, “You look at him in a way that…”

My gaze sharpens. “In a way that what?”

“You love him, don’t you?”

“Oh, dark goddess…” If Merla had noticed, who else had? The queen? Some of the lords?

She hastily replies. “It’s not—I don’t think it’s obvious to everyone. I just, we’ve traveled together for many weeks. I know you.”

I glance toward Zyren again, but he’s not looking this way, which confirms my guess that he can’t hear us. “Yes,” I say softly. “I do. But it doesn’t matter.”

“How can it not matter?”

“I have to marry someone else, to save Valaron. It’s the only way we’ll have a big enough army.”

Merla shakes her head. “That just seems so unjust.”

“Zyren doesn’t love me in return anyway,” I say. “Sometimes we just have to deal with the situation we find ourselves in. And that’s it.”

Merla opens her mouth to respond, but at that moment we see Esbella approaching. As the queen of the north stops before me, Merla bows and scurries away. Zyren’s gaze rotate toward us, but he stays where he is.

“I see you’ve met most of the lords,” Esbella says, sidling up next to me, shoulder to shoulder as if we are old friends. She scans the festivities before us. At this point, a couple of hours into the event, the free-flowing wine has everyone behaving quite a bit less formally than they did at the onset.

“Yes,” I say. “Anyone else you think I should meet?”

“There are two unmarried lords remaining, but to be honest, your strongest choices are already before you. Give them each a dance so they think they have a chance, but choose from one of the others.”

I can’t help but notice this last bit sounds more like a command than friendly advice. “Well, it is an important choice, one I will carry with me the rest of my life, so I’ll take them all under equal consideration. Anything I should know about those I’ve met thus far?”

She dips her head to the side, a nod of acknowledgement of my point. “Lord Hefen is quite arrogant, but I think you found that out already.”

I fight a blush. So, she did see that little display with Zyren.

“Lord Jode has a temper when he drinks too much.” She nods outward to one of the men out in the crowd, the third one I danced with. “Your best choices for husband, level-headed and steadfast, would be Lord Wyn, or of course, my nephew, Baron Ethanas.”

Silence falls between us for several moments.

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