Page 12 of Deadly Don's Savage Vows

Arriving in New York is like moving through a dream. I feel as though I am underwater. Trying to take everything in but it’s so overwhelming.

I’m walking around in a daze - not believing that any of this is real.

I don’t know if it was the situation in general - but saying goodbye to Nico was harder than I expected it to be. But all of this is going to be a challenge. Perhaps my emotions are scrambled because of everything else - not him.

Nico rented me a gorgeous apartment in the city. It’s tiny - but perfect for me.

I didn’t expect him to do all of this. I thought he was going to get me a motel room for a few nights and I would need to use my trust fund money. But he covered a year’s rent in cash ahead oftime, over and above all the other costs it took to get me here and he made sure there was no way to trace it back to meorhimself.

I have plenty of own money - but I need to blend in which requires me to live way beneath my means. So, I can’t go around splurging and attracting attention to myself.

I also want to earn a monthly income. Partly to have the extra cash flow - but also to give myself something to do to stay busy.

My first week in New York is exciting, but frustrating.

I’ve decorated my apartment, and it feels like home. I am so happy there, in my space. I can’t believe how incredible it is to be so independent. Every day I wake up grateful.

I know - if I ever get involved with someone again they are going to have to be incredible. Someone who lifts me up and encourages me to grow. I will never put myself in a situation like I did with Marcus - never again. It was out of my control - the arranged marriage - but if I’d known what it would lead to, I would’ve done a lot more to get away earlier.

I’m loving my new found freedom. Everything is great - except for trying to find work.

I’ve been job hunting, but all I’ve got is an art degree and zero experience - and it’s not like people are leaping over mountains to hire people with art degrees.

I studied art because I love it. I didn’t think I would need to use it - I was going to be a trophy wife, living on my husband’s wealth.

I’ve hit dead end after dead end so this morning I’m meeting with an agency who says they can get me temp positions - mostly admin work - some of it working remotely from home. But at this point I will take almost anything. I am so desperate to settle in and have a routine.

The agency people are lovely.

They are friendly and make me feel relaxed and welcome.

After a thirty-minute interview the lady stands up and holds out her hand to shake mine. “Thank you for coming in, Isabella. So, you are going to start on this half day job on Monday. It’s not what you were hoping for, but I’ll put something else together while you work on this.”

She smiles radiantly and hands me a thin folder with my log in details to the remote personal assistant position.

“Thank you, Melany, I really appreciate this. It’s perfect.”

The weeks turn into a month, I continue to do a little bit of work here and there for different companies, filling time but not enjoying it. It doesn’t challenge me or fulfill me. And jumping around like this gives me no stability whatsoever.

I’m agitated, restless and moody as time moves on and I still haven’t found my feet.

I still love my apartment. I still love my freedom.

But I feel like a failure in some ways. I keep telling myself not to be so hard on myself. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never been out on my own like this.

But I’m struggling with my emotions and my body is tired.

My world flips upside down.

I have been in New York for almost two months when I find out I am pregnant. In all the chaos of moving I thought I had missed my period because of stress - but now I have morning sickness and my body is aching and after a visit to the doctor I came home and now I’m sitting in my apartment in complete shock.

Pregnant.

I don’t want to believe it.

I should tell someone.

I should tell Nico.

---